Marvin called us (Clitty, Daddy Dick and myself) up for a quick drink around 6pm so that we could have a proper talk about Will's unexpected death. We met up in Comptons for the first round and then moved onto Element (previously known as Sanctuary) to cheer ourselves up with some cocktails.
Experimented with Green Pansy cocktails which I’ve never tried before. It was nice even though the ginger taste was quite overpowering. When we were asked by the cute-ish muscley bar boy how we were going to pay for the drinks, Marvin and myself pointed to Clitty straight away. Unexpectedly Clitty stunned us by handing his debit card over to the bar boy and agreed to starting up a tab. Now this was most certainly one of those rare occurrences and exceptionally astonishingly moments which will be etched into my non-cocktail mind. Each time Clitty went to the toilet we ordered more cocktails. Whilst sipping our cocktails we looked through the Amsterdam photos reminiscing about Will, laughed about some of the highlights they had on some of their holidays and talked about double ended dildos.
Following £71 worth of cocktails and heading towards alcoholic paralysis we moved onto Busaba Eathai for dinner. Queued for un minute (which would never ever happen on a Friday or Saturday night) before being seated. We sat on a table with three French couples. Was hoping there would be one single available French male who we could hook up with our sweet French friend, Lola. The Frenchies were very friendly and seemed to enjoy our lively presence. Daddy and Marvin departed after dinner due to old people tiredness whilst me and Clitty moved onto Balans Café for late night dessert. I think one of the camp bald poofs from the last Big Brother series popped in with his posse. It looked like him but didn’t sound like him (not that I was paying much attention).
31 Oct 2005
Unforgettable Will
Marvin called me up during my pre-Orange shower yesterday evening around 11:30pm asking me to call him back urgently. When I called him back I was wondering whether he was trying surprise me by inviting himself to join me for some late night Sunday disco vibes. My jaw dropped when Daddy Dick told me the sad news that they had just found out that our mate in Amsterdam (Will G.) had committed suicide by hanging himself. Marvin was too upset to tell me what they had just heard.
When we all last saw him two months ago we didn’t know his depression was so severe or that he was experiencing financial difficulties. He appeared to be in relatively good spirits and the only gloomy topic that we had discussed on our last day was how the car crash had messed things up for him. With suicides the thing that catches people off guard is the unexpected element of the whole thing and not being able to say goodbye. For us we knew Will as being a very tough, carefree and resilient character who had this very typical European attitude to life. He was not someone I could easily envisage as being the vulnerable type even though he had a very caring and loving nature about him.
We are now awaiting more information from Will’s neighbour about funeral arrangements. I hope Marvin is okay. This is not a good way for me to end the month. R.I.P Will.
When we all last saw him two months ago we didn’t know his depression was so severe or that he was experiencing financial difficulties. He appeared to be in relatively good spirits and the only gloomy topic that we had discussed on our last day was how the car crash had messed things up for him. With suicides the thing that catches people off guard is the unexpected element of the whole thing and not being able to say goodbye. For us we knew Will as being a very tough, carefree and resilient character who had this very typical European attitude to life. He was not someone I could easily envisage as being the vulnerable type even though he had a very caring and loving nature about him.
We are now awaiting more information from Will’s neighbour about funeral arrangements. I hope Marvin is okay. This is not a good way for me to end the month. R.I.P Will.
30 Oct 2005
The future is Orange
Woke up to text message from Londan asking me whether I was going to be joining him for a session at Later. For those of you uneducated disco bunnies out there, Later is a Sunday afternoon homo affair that takes place at Fire. This is not what I usually get up to on a Sunday afternoon but seeing as the weather forecast predicted 90% chance of precipitation I thought it would be the brilliant way of spending my Sunday. It was either Later or trying to catch the new Banksy rat exhibition (which Sam told me to check out ages and ages ago).
Grabbed a tiny breakfast of brioche before making freshening myself up for this afternoon’s events. It felt so wrong but yet so strangely delightful drinking at 11:30am in the morning. To ensure that the public transport catching community didn’t latch on I had my alcohol neatly disguised as a soft drink in my Lucozade bottle. On arrival at Fire I had successfully completed level 3 of drunkenness and thankfully avoided the queues from the Beyond crowd.
Walking inside the joint nearly blinded me with darkness. Really had to focus my eyesight so that I could see where I was going. It didn’t take me long to get into the party spirit. Slight hiccup when the fuse went on the main sound system which resulted in the little rooms being used. It was All the usual “Ibiza” suspects were here and some very nice eye candy. David M. was there with his new dishy yummy Singaporean fittie. Am so gonna have to borrow his mail order wife catalogue as I want to treat myself to two of those as an early Xmas pressie. Sunday afternoon clubbing really is the new way forward.
Afterwards Londan dragged me to Factory for a night called Juice. Somehow I knew this wasn’t going to be a worthwhile venture and I was right. Maybe they should try changing the name to Juicy instead to make a night a success.
Popped into town for a couple of drinks to decide on how else we could entertain ourselves on a Sunday evening. After two drinks we decided a night at Orange was the perfect way to round off the evening. Didn’t make it to Orange as I received some terrible news.
Grabbed a tiny breakfast of brioche before making freshening myself up for this afternoon’s events. It felt so wrong but yet so strangely delightful drinking at 11:30am in the morning. To ensure that the public transport catching community didn’t latch on I had my alcohol neatly disguised as a soft drink in my Lucozade bottle. On arrival at Fire I had successfully completed level 3 of drunkenness and thankfully avoided the queues from the Beyond crowd.
Walking inside the joint nearly blinded me with darkness. Really had to focus my eyesight so that I could see where I was going. It didn’t take me long to get into the party spirit. Slight hiccup when the fuse went on the main sound system which resulted in the little rooms being used. It was All the usual “Ibiza” suspects were here and some very nice eye candy. David M. was there with his new dishy yummy Singaporean fittie. Am so gonna have to borrow his mail order wife catalogue as I want to treat myself to two of those as an early Xmas pressie. Sunday afternoon clubbing really is the new way forward.
Afterwards Londan dragged me to Factory for a night called Juice. Somehow I knew this wasn’t going to be a worthwhile venture and I was right. Maybe they should try changing the name to Juicy instead to make a night a success.
Popped into town for a couple of drinks to decide on how else we could entertain ourselves on a Sunday evening. After two drinks we decided a night at Orange was the perfect way to round off the evening. Didn’t make it to Orange as I received some terrible news.
28 Oct 2005
Footie players
Bonked another footballer from the premiership last night. OK, he isn’t in the premiership but he is the second footballer I’ve had off the Stonewall football team. This 23yo Irish guy from Cork was not as athletic as the first one I had but he did have a very sexy smile and tiny amounts of alluring grey hairs poking out the sides of his head. Was impressed with how quickly he managed to pick up the rules of Russian poker. Still managed to whip his ass (at cards). Found out that there are about 50 players in the whole team so it might be a good idea to choose another team in future.
Can’t believe I have been using my 9.0 tog duvet over the last 8 months. Two people sleeping in a 9.0 tog is unbearably hot. Have now changed it a 4.5 tog which feels so much better (even though we’re approaching the winter season).
Can’t believe I have been using my 9.0 tog duvet over the last 8 months. Two people sleeping in a 9.0 tog is unbearably hot. Have now changed it a 4.5 tog which feels so much better (even though we’re approaching the winter season).
26 Oct 2005
I heart muscle that can used mister muscle
It's only mid point through the week and I realise that I am badly in need of a cleaner or an extremely hyperactive wax on wax off hubby. Over the last few days I've realised I have clocked up a fair amount of time doing mundane domestic stuff when I could be busy deconstructing the latest Eastern European porn releases. My cleaner criteria is to ultimately have someone who is reasonably priced (I'm thinking Filipino maid without green card rate here) and trustworthy (when I come home from a hard days work I expect to see my place spotless smelling like a classy Zone 1 whorehouse with none of my Bel Ami DVD's missing).
Those dreaded conversations about plans during the festive season have already seeped into the latest work conversations and waltzing unceremoniously into my personal domain. This has resulted from David Cameron’s impersonation of Rory Bremner doing Tony Blair (AKA the Tory party leadership contest) and lack of gossip due to my friends inabilities at having good ol’ fashioned illicit affairs.
Those dreaded conversations about plans during the festive season have already seeped into the latest work conversations and waltzing unceremoniously into my personal domain. This has resulted from David Cameron’s impersonation of Rory Bremner doing Tony Blair (AKA the Tory party leadership contest) and lack of gossip due to my friends inabilities at having good ol’ fashioned illicit affairs.
25 Oct 2005
What do you call a female drama queen?
Unfortunately this is not the question to a funny joke but the first thought to cross my mind following an incident at work this afternoon. We have this extremely histrionic woman (in her early 50's) at work who manages to naturally and very deftly piss people off just by being her natural self. We will for reasons of confidentiality call this burnt and over fried turnip dumpling MadMary. MadMary has the potential to be a character within Little BritainTM and would certainly last a good four series before the gag actually wore thin. One day in the not too distant future this iconic figure of insanity will become Googable by simply typing in one of the following words: barmy, crazy or nuts. Actually nuts might be over exaggerating it slightly but nutty wouldn't be far off the mark.
It was only a matter of time before our paths crossed considering she has already clashed with several other of my work colleagues. Our brawl resulted from me sending MadMary an e-mail bollocking her about some Christian chain letter she had sent out to everyone on the work e-mailing list.
I am not sure exactly how to describe what it is about her that annoys people instanteously. For me it was a combination of the words Madmary chooses to express herself, plus her ooh sooo dramatic style of the actual delivery of her sentences sounding like she was just desperate for a poo and only had 40 farting seconds left before her back door entrance re-created the scene from Backdraft. It is very rare that I ever get so wound up (if you don't believe me ask my ex's), but for some reason she can do that thing that all mothers know how to execute with such aplomb. Lucky for her I decided not to assault her with my knowledge of Chav-like swear words. Instead I kicked her out of my office with a simple "I have work to be getting on with" and rotated back to my computer screen of gaydar messages.
Surprise of the day was when Daddy Dick called me up this afternoon asking me for advice on which iPodTM to purchase. Following a four minute 3 second consultation I guided him through that tricky maze of technological gadgets from the year 2003. Maybe he's forgotten that I'm Chinese and not Japanese. Moving from mad to blind I must give dear ol' Stevie Wonder a plug for his new LP, A Time To Love. Definitely worth copying onto your iPod and to be played for those skipping to work in the sunshine moments.
It was only a matter of time before our paths crossed considering she has already clashed with several other of my work colleagues. Our brawl resulted from me sending MadMary an e-mail bollocking her about some Christian chain letter she had sent out to everyone on the work e-mailing list.
I am not sure exactly how to describe what it is about her that annoys people instanteously. For me it was a combination of the words Madmary chooses to express herself, plus her ooh sooo dramatic style of the actual delivery of her sentences sounding like she was just desperate for a poo and only had 40 farting seconds left before her back door entrance re-created the scene from Backdraft. It is very rare that I ever get so wound up (if you don't believe me ask my ex's), but for some reason she can do that thing that all mothers know how to execute with such aplomb. Lucky for her I decided not to assault her with my knowledge of Chav-like swear words. Instead I kicked her out of my office with a simple "I have work to be getting on with" and rotated back to my computer screen of gaydar messages.
Surprise of the day was when Daddy Dick called me up this afternoon asking me for advice on which iPodTM to purchase. Following a four minute 3 second consultation I guided him through that tricky maze of technological gadgets from the year 2003. Maybe he's forgotten that I'm Chinese and not Japanese. Moving from mad to blind I must give dear ol' Stevie Wonder a plug for his new LP, A Time To Love. Definitely worth copying onto your iPod and to be played for those skipping to work in the sunshine moments.
24 Oct 2005
end of popstarz?
Found out today that Simon Hobart (promoter of Popstarz) passed away at the tender age of 41yo. Even though I didn't personally know the man I think it's a slightly sad moment for all the alternative gay clubbers out there given the plethora of London's funky house muscle mary clubs.
This was one of my clubs I frequented a lot as a student and the only club I have ever been to with my lil' brother. Even though I'm not an indie-kid I did very much enjoy the relaxed care free atmosphere and boozy crowd. Think I might pop along this Friday if it is still on.....
This was one of my clubs I frequented a lot as a student and the only club I have ever been to with my lil' brother. Even though I'm not an indie-kid I did very much enjoy the relaxed care free atmosphere and boozy crowd. Think I might pop along this Friday if it is still on.....
23 Oct 2005
Too many pics, not enough time.
Am slightly regretting doing this pseudo blog. It is very time consuming in terms of getting all my pix onto this goddamn thing. Can anyone suggest a quicker method of uploading pics? Also my HTML knowledge is very limited so the look and layout of the whole thing is not exactly as I want it to be.
22 Oct 2005
Just another Saturday in October
This afternoon my neighbours doorbell rang and then my doorbell rang 20 seconds later. This could only mean one of the following:
- bible bashers
- viagra salespeople
- my weekly delivery of chickens feet.
As I live in a first floor conversion flat I have developed a brilliant technique for screening unannounced front door guests by opening my window and screaming at the top of my lungs in a modern Romeo & Juliet stylee “who dat?”.
I knew within the first 10 seconds what these two semi-old biddies were after. Grasping church leaflets in their hands I was not impressed with their opening line. Before they could even get through their door-to-door script I interjected with a quick “thanks for calling by but I’m an agnostic”.
Expecting a good debate and/or their usual standard churchy response in the hope of trying to convert my agnostic belief, I was slightly surprised by their question “what does agnostic mean?” Seeing as I wasn’t going to get much entertainment mileage out of these two ladies I let my window shut.
Watched a Chinese American lesbian romantic comedy called Saving Face this afternoon. Some funny moments about this Chinese family of three generations. Unfortunately a lot of the gags I’ve already seen done before with Jewish-American / Italian comedies. Watching it done with Chinese cultural references I was expecting to see something I could relate to from my experiences. Maybe the people of China might disagree with my Hong Kong perspective of it. The dialogue of daughter answering back to her mother in English whilst her mother continuously spoke Chinese throughout the whole film didn’t work. The sentimentality of the film was predictable using that good ol’ conventional formula. Will definitely be keeping an eye out for Alice Wu’s next production.
Met up with Richard & Ashley at Swiss Cottage for Reinhard’s annual birthday house party. Was joined by the usual suspects from Big Britain minus the girls. His flat was packed to the brim full of German guys. Unfortunately we were not skilled or daring enough to locate the source of the coke floating about amongst the German network to compliment the champagne being served to us.
Found out at the party that Nick Nick is moving to Sydney for a couple of years in December time coz he's managed to get a nice cushy job out there. Looks like it’s time to upgrade Nick from B-list to A-list now….
Departed before the other lot as I had to leg it into town to meet up with Christophe & his friend from Vienna for a night of Saturday night clubbing at Heaven. It was during the journey into town that my body was telling me I had reached my alcohol intake threshold. Getting into the club via the guestlist didn’t prove to be too much of a problem but they have introduced this new rule of banning chewing gum being taken inside the club. How da fuck will they expect their clubbers to be able to gurn properly or even snog with a fresh breath?
After the club things went slightly downhill...!
- bible bashers
- viagra salespeople
- my weekly delivery of chickens feet.
As I live in a first floor conversion flat I have developed a brilliant technique for screening unannounced front door guests by opening my window and screaming at the top of my lungs in a modern Romeo & Juliet stylee “who dat?”.
I knew within the first 10 seconds what these two semi-old biddies were after. Grasping church leaflets in their hands I was not impressed with their opening line. Before they could even get through their door-to-door script I interjected with a quick “thanks for calling by but I’m an agnostic”.
Expecting a good debate and/or their usual standard churchy response in the hope of trying to convert my agnostic belief, I was slightly surprised by their question “what does agnostic mean?” Seeing as I wasn’t going to get much entertainment mileage out of these two ladies I let my window shut.
Watched a Chinese American lesbian romantic comedy called Saving Face this afternoon. Some funny moments about this Chinese family of three generations. Unfortunately a lot of the gags I’ve already seen done before with Jewish-American / Italian comedies. Watching it done with Chinese cultural references I was expecting to see something I could relate to from my experiences. Maybe the people of China might disagree with my Hong Kong perspective of it. The dialogue of daughter answering back to her mother in English whilst her mother continuously spoke Chinese throughout the whole film didn’t work. The sentimentality of the film was predictable using that good ol’ conventional formula. Will definitely be keeping an eye out for Alice Wu’s next production.
Met up with Richard & Ashley at Swiss Cottage for Reinhard’s annual birthday house party. Was joined by the usual suspects from Big Britain minus the girls. His flat was packed to the brim full of German guys. Unfortunately we were not skilled or daring enough to locate the source of the coke floating about amongst the German network to compliment the champagne being served to us.
Found out at the party that Nick Nick is moving to Sydney for a couple of years in December time coz he's managed to get a nice cushy job out there. Looks like it’s time to upgrade Nick from B-list to A-list now….
Departed before the other lot as I had to leg it into town to meet up with Christophe & his friend from Vienna for a night of Saturday night clubbing at Heaven. It was during the journey into town that my body was telling me I had reached my alcohol intake threshold. Getting into the club via the guestlist didn’t prove to be too much of a problem but they have introduced this new rule of banning chewing gum being taken inside the club. How da fuck will they expect their clubbers to be able to gurn properly or even snog with a fresh breath?
After the club things went slightly downhill...!
And so pseudo was born
Today I decided to create this blog to share my artless photos, riveting stories and exciting adventures in my life to all the people within the different layers of my social circles. So far this year this has included my 30th birthday, two enjoyable holidays, some new chemical experiences, one funeral and one wedding.
Some would say I am actually constructing a different type of Juicy-like connection for folks who I don’t see on a regular basis (they are what I habitually refer to as C-list friends). Needless to say if you want me to name names and share sordid details then you will have to contact my diary secretary to squeeze yourself into one of my PopbitchTM slots.
As I have been keeping a diary for the past few years I wonder whether the blog will result in me dumping my diary! I would like to take this opportunity to point out to ALL you dashingly handsome single Audi TT driving sugar chickens that I am in no way a fickle individual.
19 Oct 2005
We’re eating in the rain
Matt, Tracy (Matt’s wife) & Sam (Matt’s sister) came round for dinner. This is second set of workmates I’ve had round to my flat. First time they’ve ever been here. Had to cook two dinners as I had forgotten that Sam doesn’t eat meat until she reminded me with an e-mail this morning at work. It was a really bad night to be trekking to Acton for dinner as it was raining pretty heavily. As I was preparing for tonight’s dinner I was slightly worried that the weather conditions would result in a text message saying something along the lines of “Can’t make dinner tonight coz we‘ve all got the rare Thai strand of Asian bird flu”.
Sam arrived first with her banana and walnut cake. Shortly afterwards the other two managed to locate my flat. Tracy made sure she told me what bits of my flat she liked the most. There is no doubt in my mind that she made all the executive decisions for all the nick nacks and furniture in her house. Am interested in Tracy's technique for how she dyes her bed linen to a different colour. Cooked so much food tonight I gave them little takeaway boxes before I kicked their butts outta my flat.
16 Oct 2005
Jan C's 51st bidet
Went to Jan's house in Vauxhall in the afternoon for her civilised 51st birthday drinks with my ol' skool posse. Surprised that Earl actually turned up having not seen him for absolute ages. The only people that didn't make it tonight were Lola and Clitty. Got jealous when I found out that Paul & Cliff were going to the Hustla Ball next week in Berlin.
Jan's place is looking much better even though she has still got a lot of stuff scattered about in her bedroom. She was glad that her daughter is now not living with her (she is currently in LA dating some dude called Bryan). For someone that is 51 she is looking remarkable well for her age. I think this is because she has got a bit of Asian in her genes.
Marvin kept trying to enlarge the hole in the knee area of jeans. I punished him by dragging him along the floor; first time was by his hand and then second time was by his foot. With his weight gain over the last few years I felt like I had been given the strength of ten lions.
Daddy Dick did his usual repeat performance at Jan's birthdays by consuming too much weed. This resulted in him spending some time in Jan's bathroom puking up......
Jan's place is looking much better even though she has still got a lot of stuff scattered about in her bedroom. She was glad that her daughter is now not living with her (she is currently in LA dating some dude called Bryan). For someone that is 51 she is looking remarkable well for her age. I think this is because she has got a bit of Asian in her genes.
Marvin kept trying to enlarge the hole in the knee area of jeans. I punished him by dragging him along the floor; first time was by his hand and then second time was by his foot. With his weight gain over the last few years I felt like I had been given the strength of ten lions.
Daddy Dick did his usual repeat performance at Jan's birthdays by consuming too much weed. This resulted in him spending some time in Jan's bathroom puking up......
15 Oct 2005
2 Oct 2005
My Cousin's wedding banquet
One of my favourite cousins Penona (one of my many second generation cousins on my mother's side) got married to an ol' neighbour of mine (Kawah) on Friday. My brother, dad and myself went to the wedding banquet this afternoon at New Loon Fung restaurant in Chinatown. Penona looked stunning. I wonder how much weight did she have to lose in the last few months to squeeze into her stunning outfit.
The afternoon went smoothly with no mah jong being played or any karaoke performances. Most of the attendees were mainly from the groom's side. You could tell that this was a BBC (British Born Chinese) wedding as there were a few non-Chinese faces floating about in the room. A whole load of my cousin's affable workmates were present at the soiree but what would have been perfect is if her tranny workmate turned up in full gear. At least we could have had the naff (Chinese) wedding music turned off and maybe a Shirley Bassey lip synching performance.
As expected I got asked that ass clenching cliched question several times by a few relatives and friends of my parents "when is it next going to be your turn?". Can't wait till the next Chinese funeral, then it will be my turn to ask the question "when is it next going to your turn?" If anyone intends on sending me a wedding invitation please review the seating arrangements thoroughly to ensure that I am sat with people from my generation. Was it not obvious from my funky bright blue polyester Betty Boo tie that I am a bit light on my feet and therefore will not ever do marriage. There are a few exceptions to this tenet of mine. Adam Levine from Maroon5 would be one of them. Tom Cruise wouldn't.
The banquet food reminded me of how long it's been since I've been to a big Chinese gathering. No matter how big your appetite is, it is practically impossible to eat every dish served (unless you take one spoonful of each dish). As a general rule of thumb it's best to eat as much of the first few courses as possible (because they usually are the best ones). The peak is when the seafood/fish arrive, then it's time to focus all your energies on da booze.
Seeing all my relatives there reminded me of how awful I've been with staying in contact with my cousins. Seeing my adorable, energetic and cute two year old cousin (Uncle Jimmy's son) made me feel very 30 and that my generation was passing me by.
The afternoon went smoothly with no mah jong being played or any karaoke performances. Most of the attendees were mainly from the groom's side. You could tell that this was a BBC (British Born Chinese) wedding as there were a few non-Chinese faces floating about in the room. A whole load of my cousin's affable workmates were present at the soiree but what would have been perfect is if her tranny workmate turned up in full gear. At least we could have had the naff (Chinese) wedding music turned off and maybe a Shirley Bassey lip synching performance.
As expected I got asked that ass clenching cliched question several times by a few relatives and friends of my parents "when is it next going to be your turn?". Can't wait till the next Chinese funeral, then it will be my turn to ask the question "when is it next going to your turn?" If anyone intends on sending me a wedding invitation please review the seating arrangements thoroughly to ensure that I am sat with people from my generation. Was it not obvious from my funky bright blue polyester Betty Boo tie that I am a bit light on my feet and therefore will not ever do marriage. There are a few exceptions to this tenet of mine. Adam Levine from Maroon5 would be one of them. Tom Cruise wouldn't.
The banquet food reminded me of how long it's been since I've been to a big Chinese gathering. No matter how big your appetite is, it is practically impossible to eat every dish served (unless you take one spoonful of each dish). As a general rule of thumb it's best to eat as much of the first few courses as possible (because they usually are the best ones). The peak is when the seafood/fish arrive, then it's time to focus all your energies on da booze.
Seeing all my relatives there reminded me of how awful I've been with staying in contact with my cousins. Seeing my adorable, energetic and cute two year old cousin (Uncle Jimmy's son) made me feel very 30 and that my generation was passing me by.
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