The afternoon went smoothly with no mah jong being played or any karaoke performances. Most of the attendees were mainly from the groom's side. You could tell that this was a BBC (British Born Chinese) wedding as there were a few non-Chinese faces floating about in the room. A whole load of my cousin's affable workmates were present at the soiree but what would have been perfect is if her tranny workmate turned up in full gear. At least we could have had the naff (Chinese) wedding music turned off and maybe a Shirley Bassey lip synching performance.
As expected I got asked that ass clenching cliched question several times by a few relatives and friends of my parents "when is it next going to be your turn?". Can't wait till the next Chinese funeral, then it will be my turn to ask the question "when is it next going to your turn?" If anyone intends on sending me a wedding invitation please review the seating arrangements thoroughly to ensure that I am sat with people from my generation. Was it not obvious from my funky bright blue polyester Betty Boo tie that I am a bit light on my feet and therefore will not ever do marriage. There are a few exceptions to this tenet of mine. Adam Levine from Maroon5 would be one of them. Tom Cruise wouldn't.
The banquet food reminded me of how long it's been since I've been to a big Chinese gathering. No matter how big your appetite is, it is practically impossible to eat every dish served (unless you take one spoonful of each dish). As a general rule of thumb it's best to eat as much of the first few courses as possible (because they usually are the best ones). The peak is when the seafood/fish arrive, then it's time to focus all your energies on da booze.
Seeing all my relatives there reminded me of how awful I've been with staying in contact with my cousins. Seeing my adorable, energetic and cute two year old cousin (Uncle Jimmy's son) made me feel very 30 and that my generation was passing me by.
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