Xmas din-dins

Sam P. popped round to my office this afternoon and we scanned the polaroids that Kate took at her birthday bash. A tiny bit of editing took place. It was the first time she's seen my office but she definitely liked the cheap Blue Peter design thing we had going on.

Tom A. called me up tonight. Quite surprised as Tom hardly ever calls me and we usually interact via e-mail or face-to-face. Have been invited round to their Country&Western dinner night round their flat in two weeks time. They are experimenting with a miscellaneous mish-mash guestlist. Has anyone got a Dolly Parton outfit they can lend me?

US Top Dawg

Just watched the 7^th episode of Commander In Chief even though it hasn’t been broadcasted on UK tele yet. Am absolutely addicted to this series about an independent female US president (played by Gina Davis). Like all good US presidents on soaps she always does the right thing and exercises the best judgement when it comes to big political matters.

Currently the only fault I’ve noticed (and trust me I always find blemishes with people) is that she makes some dodgy choices when it comes to some of her casual outfits and also the way she speaks. There are moments her strong southern accent makes her sound like she has 2 to 3½ gobstobbers in her mouth. This series balances out the weighty politics with a bit of not so heavy twinkyness (the presidents teenage kids wily ways). To all you folks that like a bit of eye candy, keep an eye out for the president’s son.

It's a wrap

Exercised my phalanges this morning by assisting Cynthia with wrapping up Mel’s leaving presents. Took us a short while to get through the various goodies (ranging from socks to a funky colourful toaster).

Flip Flops

Throughout my teenage years my mother and I have never quite seen eye-to-eye on some of the garments she’s purchased for me. My mum usually dresses very well when it comes to selecting items from her extensive collection. Most of my mother’s friends usually comment on how well she dresses in that unfailing smart conservative style of hers. Before my mum went to Hong Kong I asked her to pick me up some funky waterproof flip flops for me. She arrived back yesterday and I was surprised to see these beauties:

Fucking love ‘em.

Who's next?

One of my bestest mates had just finished a emotional exhausting and tricky relationship recently. Once again I’m listening to the same story told by a different narrator. Why are men such puerile assholes?

Crazycakes new helper

In the evening my body felt like it was ready to hibernate through the next ten hours tonight. Unfortunately this was delayed due to me having to pop out as Crazycake had found a new skivvy to help him out at work. This meant he was able to go out a bit more than his boyfriend would allow.

My main reason for wanting to go out tonight was to see the Porn Idol contest they had on at G.A.Y. It was cack amateur strip contest which ended up with this semi old drag queen winning (and yes the drag did show his private bits to the crowd). I have seen much stripping in the mens changing rooms at Top Man.

Half way through the evening a young blond spiky haired twinky on the stage tapped me on my shoulder and said “you look really hot tonight”. Before I even had a chance to respond to this 5’11 black wearing club gear twink he then asked me “hey, do you remember me?” My mind just froze as I couldn’t recall straight away who this guy was. At first I thought it was some guy I had been messaging online. I responded with “erm, are you my pseudo neighbour?” As a disappointed look emerged onto his face he gave me one more chance “…..from the party?”. Even though I don’t self define as a hardcore around the clock socialite, this was not a great clue considering the amount of parties & social gatherings I have attended. After a brief conversation about his holiday plans I was still none the wiser as to who he was.

It was only when I got home and was trying to get to sleep I remember he was called Nick from a party I went to with David Wantsome in Courtfield Gardens (Earls Court) on Sat 3 Sept. I also remember him being quite dishy as well. How could I forgot someone I met 3 months ago?! Damn my short term memory.

Sam P's Bidet

Sam P had her bidet drinks at The Lodge. Didn’t realise Harlesden had this little funky bar tucked away on its high street. There were quite a few birthday celebrations going on at the same time as a whole gang of people turned up in fancy dress gear. Two drag queens turned up in the evening who were suppose to be performing but didn’t. I think they were truck drivers as they had stocky builds and one of them had very hairy legs. Spent most of the evening going back and forth to the girls toilets which had very tiny cubicles that could hold no more than 3 people. Managed to lift up the back of Sam’s dress when she wasn’t looking to show everyone’s booty.

After the bar we walked back to Sam’s flat (only a couple of minutes away). It was great to see all of Sam’s mates (old and new). Deborah and Tina (sisters) are so my kind of gals.

Mother Love was telling Cynthia & me about Atlantic City (New Jersey) on the bus journey home and how it was definitely worth checking out as a holiday destination. Apart from Las Vegas it’s the only state in the US where gambling is permitted.

New t-shirt

Spent part of my afternoon collecting money for Mel’s leaving pressie (my boss’s PA). As per usual the doctors coughed up the most dosh whilst everyone gave fluctuating amounts. Even though everyone wasn’t at work this afternoon I spent a good two hours trying chugging (chugger = charity mugger). Every time I spoke to my work colleagues they kept trying to get me to answer questions about work related stuff. I hate corridor conversations and am going to print a t-shirt with my work e-mail address on it. The way I intend to use this t-shirt will be to point at my disco tits next time a work colleague asks me a work question.

3 months too much?

Tony Blair got bitch slapped bad this evening by the numerous dildos he has been complacently riding on over the last few years of his administration. This kick to his not-so-left butt has definitely been long overdue. Hopefully this will cause him so much anxiety that he doesn't pee properly for the next 90 days. Not that I want a beastly Tory (again) or Gordon ’missing millions’ Brown to be the next Prime Minister, but it would be nice to see some sensible policies appearing in the government’s agenda and forthcoming manifesto.

Managed to pop into Acton’s only sex shop (quite close to the supermarche where I usually pickup my courgettes) late this afternoon. Surprised that there were a few shady looking customers in there happily browsing away at the hetty stuff. Looked around to see whether they had anything that would interest me, and like any good small business they had their bum sex proudly on display occupying 20% of their products. Apart from the customary DVD’s & vids there were also toys, lube and light S&M gear for my fellow neighbours to buy as Christmas gifts for their loved ones. West London rocks!

Self.Life.Death

Cynthia & myself popped into Barbican Art Gallery to view Nobuyoshi Araki's self life death exhibition. This dude sounded exciting as he is known as one of Japan's most living controversial photographers.

Before our tube journey Cynthia took me on a detour to this little cafe in Shepherds Bush market to pick up some Virginia Gold. The average Joe walking past would not know that this cafe sold cheap tobacco.

Unfortunately I was not allowed to take any photo's of the exhibition for my blog. The one I want to show was myself standing against this collage of over 3000 polaroids. It took ages looking through all these polaroids of naked Japanese women tied up in ropes (Kinbaku), their cat, Japanese dishes (cod roe, eggs), people singing karaoke, little toys and colourful flowers. Seeing so many polaroids reminded me of how many images each of us absorb each day.

The other parts I enjoyed were seeing photo's of his wife (Yoko) during their 19 year relationship. I assume they must have been a relatively open-minded couple as they were tonnes of naked Japanese women in various erotic and artistic poses. Photo's of old and new Japan since 1960 were eye opening. Experimental techniques of soaking the negatives in a chemical solution displayed in the Blue Period section kicked off the exhibition nicely. Not sure of the painted acrylic colours on black&white photos shown in Coloureros worked.

Today I saw more oriental pussy than most straight men will ever see in their lifetime. Thank the almighty lord for cock!

Dr Fuck's bidet

Went down to The Rocket pub in Acton to join Dr. Fuck for his 35th birthday drinks. Was invited to the dinner beforehand but didn't make it in time. A few new faces tonight which included the lovely South African couple Alan & Ondine as well as Dr Fuck’s new 23yo bid of trade. As soon as I found out that Alan was a vet we had a chit chat about the pros and cons of K. Was asked to complete a page from this pornographic join the dots book and sign it off. Mine was titled Aroma de Haddock a la Cod.

After the pub shut we went back to Fritz’s place to finish off two bottles of champagne. Was very impressed with the black glossy look that Cynthia had achieved with her table. Had a game of midnight chess which resulted in me losing because I sacrificed a strong attacking position for a few of my pieces. Told Fritz his flat needed the gay touch. He had lovely pieces of furniture (as well as some dodgy ones) but also too many things cluttering up the place kept in the wrong places. As he was pissed I don’t know whether he was offended or not but I just found it impossible to suppress my interior design recommendations.

From Soho to Kings X

Took Marvin for a booze-a-thon to see how Will’s funeral went as I didn’t make it. Marvin turned up with Johnie V who got us slightly side tracked and we ended up swapping stories about salacious stuff we’ve been up to. The update on the funeral was that it was carried out in Dutch with very few of Will's London friends there. Marvin got to meet his immediate family (apparently Will's brother is a spitting image and his mother was surprisingly on the short side) and see the body. Not sure if I would have had the guts to be able to see Will’s dead body even though I’ve slept with a few in my time.

Ended up going to Popstarz on my own tonight. Arriving at 1am there wasn’t much of a queue (no guestlist tonight) which was nowhere as bad as the 9:30pm queue (apparently it went half way down Grays Inn Road and required a good 60 minutes wait). Spent a bit of the night listening to Dennis T. play some brilliant reggae songs as well as bubblegum RNB for the lil’ kids (yawn). Saw a few of the old Queer Nation crowd including DJ Luke Howard. The evening was surprisingly enjoyable especially in the upstairs disco room next to the DJ’s booth. Will definitely have to drop by some time soon.

Suits you Sir

Have started reading about what makes a good bespoke suit and have decided that this will be one of the first things I will treat myself to (after I've paid off money I owe to my parents). At the moment I'm quite inclined to go for one that meets the following criteria:

• wool
• classic grey or black coloured
• single breasted
• two button front
• at least 1.125 inches long lapel
• four buttons on the cuffs (with button holes)
• pockets with flaps (including breast pocket)

The trousers would of course would need to have side strap adjustors and four pleats (with the rows going forward). Would love to hear from any tailors in Asia who can provide the above at a tenth of London prices!