Summary

Juicelog Wed 290306: It’s late and I need to bed it shortly. A lot on my mind at the moment but here is a brief compendium of recent events:

• had a mini barney with my mum yesterday which is still slightly unresolved.
• unexpectedly received three offers for jigalation (I think that’s the verb for getting jiggy) over the last four days. First one was from “B” a sweet pianist whom I met about 4 years ago. So blatantly looking for a rebound fuck as he’s recently split from his boyf. Second one is from this couple “AK” but I only kinda know “A” and not “K”. Can the people in the back row stop making jokes about me not being accustomed with K please. “A” is someone I met about 10/11 years ago and I don’t really know much about him apart from some the hearsay I picked up over the years. Third offer was from this laddish Algerian guy (from Paris) who tried to pick me up on the night bus on Saturday night in front of his mates. It was a shocking experience as he was so blatant about it and did it so loudly I actually got a wee bit embarrassed.
• am planning to squeeze in 2 days of Cairo into my Egypt trip (if we manage to find a cheap internal flight).
• got dazzled by Jon Pearn’s (one half of producers / remixers Full Intention) smokin’ set.

See you folks in a weeks time with my new re-invented brown self.

Green Park

Juicelog Sun 260306: Today opened up a seminal and memorable chapter in my life. Spent a large chunk of the evening inside Green Park tube station talking to a friend of mine whilst train spotting. Unexpectedly he opened up to me and decided to share a very sensitive and personal issue about himself.

It was most revealing to say the least as I never realised he had these emotions bottled up inside of him. Even though he felt really embarrassed and awkward for feeling so vulnerable and teary due to his disclosure, I hope he will one day realised that some of this pain he experienced tonight will allow him to grow which will lead to him eventually bringing about some of the changes he needs to make to achieve more desirable outcomes in his life.

I’m not one for cheesy and naff lines but all of us at some point during our human existence will have shitty moments to deal with in our lives, but I ultimately subscribe to the theory that it is our outlook which shapes our approach to overcoming these hurdles.

My respect as always remains great for him and he doesn’t need me to spell out how much I care about him. I really do appreciate the fact that he allowed me inside some of his innermost thoughts and feel poignantly touched that he choose to share them with me. When the time is right I will one day reciprocate this by sharing with him all the stuff that makes me feel blue (as well as the stuff that brings a smile to my face). Tonight’s post is dedicated to him come (British) rain come (Spanish) shine.

Popbitch fodder

Juicelog Thurs 230306: This morning I picked up a rumour from one of the consultants (at work) that a tres D-list celebrity will be admitted to our Service tomorrow. This person actually came in this afternoon (driven in on a 911 red porsche) as I was popping out for lunch. S/he looked very spotty compared to how they appeared on a popular Channel 4 reality TV show.

Countdown to S.E.S

Juicelog Wed 220306: Made a semi spontaneous decision with Cynthia to go to Egypt next Wednesday. The lack of continuous sunshine in this country is getting way too unbearable. Hopefully in a week’s time we will be sunning ourselves in the sunny resort of Sharm El Sheikh whilst being hand fed grapes and strawberries from bell boys dressed in mommy outfits.

To call or not to call?

Juicelog Tues 210306: Yet another Bridget Jones moment to add to my March list. It started with a kiss which then turned into a snog and finally I found out that this stunning Brazilian was called Pablo. This six packed floppy haired stunner with killer eyes is someone who I have "accidentally" collided into many a time on the dance floors of various after hours discos. Last time we saw each other we both didn't have our phones on us and so we weren't able to exchange telephone numbers. Instead I gave him my e-mail address and told him to hit me up cyber stylee. A week zoomed past and nothing appeared in my inbox and so I naturally came to the conclusion that he had never used a computer before and had been putting up a front about his ability to send e-mails.

Last Friday night just before Alex's house party a whole group of us had arranged to meet up in town to have a catch up drink. Like the Labour Party we had a split vote as to where we were going - a faction of us were heading off to Fiction and the remainder were going to Alex's house party. Whilst we were debating plans I bumped into Pablo. Didn't really get to talk to him as he was with his mates and I was with my posse.

Just as we were about to head off for the party he gave me his telephone number even though I didn't ask for it. I inputted the number onto my phone and pecked him goodbye. Slightly surprised as I wasn't expecting him to volunteer his eleven digits.

Had been deliberating with myself over the weekend as to whether I should call him up or not. Eventually made up my mind to wait quite some time before I did as I didn't want to appear to be too eager. That all went a bit pear shaped when I sent him a text message this morning. My moment of weakness was attributed to the fact that I left for work this morning without my iPod. And the only toy I had on me was my goddamn mobile.

Alex A's Party

Juicelog Fri 170306: Alex A has got a new pad in Old Street and it is funky. A tiny gang of us (Cynthia, Paedo, Claire and Robaroo) swung by EC1 tonight for his birthday / housewarming bash. Invited one of my work colleagues (David M, who I’ve never hung out with socially) to the party as well. Seeing as he lived around the corner from Alex’s place I thought it would be good to get to know him in a non work setting – I got the impression David now thinks I’m a bit of a disco junkie.

Absolutely loved the layout of Alex’s place as it was an office that Alex and rocker Dave had converted into their home. It was not the easiest place to locate but Disco Michal guided us as were lucky enough to have bumped into him at the tube station. Walking through the front door takes you onto a flight of steps which leads you up to a fairly big courtyard overlooking steel piped roofing of the adjacent buildings. This was what I considered to be the main focus of their flat. Am looking forward to the summer sunshine as their courtyard would be perfect for cocktails and smoky barbeques.

Whilst we were in the toilet (all my current encounters seem to stem from the frickin bogs) we tried to get Claire to try out a new physical experience as she has never had experimented before. For those of you that have never met this 26yo funky and extremely sexy brummie lass, she is definitely one raver that knows how to party hard. She has been and is still a regular Ibiza attendee and has been to variety of raves across the clubbing spectrum. We both like good music and admire very similar DJ’s.

Claire assertively did not submit to my proposition. Her justification was based on the grounds that she knew that once she had tried something that felt so good, she knew she would want to revisit that same experience again. And for this reason alone she was content with not knowing and not going beyond her current series of human experiences. It was an interesting idea because it got me thinking about the extent of my addictive personality. Back in the days I was once like Claire and was able to get high on the music, the vibe of the crowd with a modicum of alcohol. Currently I can still manage this but to sustain it for long periods of time is practically unattainable. Extending a night out (or in my case stretching out the Sunday afternoons) requires a major investment of energy and there is only so much my body will allow me to withdraw. My overdrafts always seems to come to the rescue but is it time that I really start thinking more about the butt-breaking punishment of the repayments and put my creative focus to a better use?

Dolly / N9S

Juicelog Wed 150306: Attended Dolly’s retirement lunch today. Dolly is the extremely nice and sweet nurse at my workplace. Unfortunately the lunch wasn’t very well organised (salsa dance demonstration, karaoke and the speech didn’t go as planned). Work colleagues turned up at various times (as the organiser decided to change the start time to a really awkward time of the day). Nobody invited our Chief Executive or the Service Director. They gave her cash as a leaving present (a bundle of fucking five pound notes stuffed inside her card!!!!). Luckily, the food and the drink worked out.

The partyboy inside me got slightly annoyed as I view retirements as biggish events in the calendar of milestones. And this whole thing reminded me of a small casual informal drop-in clinic rather than a retirement soiree. Seeing this poorly planned mish mash affair made my heart sank. Dolly certainly deserved better than this for the 20 years she’s given to our Service. I’m sooo tempted to organise her a proper memorable event including writing the goddamn leaving speeches myself.

On the way home I chanced upon a little sticker (depicting the worlds aid day red ribbon) at the bus stop that read:

Arse
Infected
Death
Sentence
http://www.n9s.org

You gotta check this out and NOT skip the intro. As soon as I saw the line “There is Only 1 Party” flash up I naturally assumed that this was an advert for Later. But then seeing the photo of party leader (Kevin Q) I then realised I had made a grave mistake as it was obviously an advert for XXL and not Later.

The Juicy Show

Juicelog Tues 140306: Once in a blue moon I will bump into my downstairs neighbour (Gareth). In the last two days I’ve managed to have seen all three of my immediate neighbours. Felt like Jim Carrey in The Truman Show.

Saganaki

Juicelog Mon 130306: Mo (a work colleague of mine who was exceedingly good taste) suggested that I simply must try saganaki. This came about when I asked her to recommend a shop where I could pick up some decent haloumi (as most of the major supermarkets often stock the commercial and not so yummy brands). Apparently the only place she knows that sells the goddamn stuff is in Selfridges. Am annoyed that that she has planted the saganaki seed in my brain because I don’t fancy trekking all the way into central Londres just to buy a bit of cheese.

1.5ml ameliorates the pain

Juicelog Sun 120306: The less said about my weekend the better. Just went I thought I nearly escaped unharmed I crammed in some last minute unrepentant debauchery at Later on St. Patrick’s Day with the dynamic duo (who now both think I'm some sorta hygiene freak).

Spent most of the afternoon in Londan’s company as Crazycakes got side tracked into his own little world (something he seems to have done of late). In customary Juice stylee I exhibited dissolute behaviour my parents would not approve of. Eye candy on different points of the disco compass perpetually distracted me which resulted in me losing focus off my chief objective ("H" in case you haven't read my previous post). As “H” was there I decided to see whether I could ascertain his level of interest during our hip grinding moments. Left with the impression he wasn’t interested and that I have misread the signs. If you’re confused reading this just imagine what must be going through my head.

My discotheque partner in crime and myself managed to stay till the bitter end and were both treated to a pleasant salty 1.5 millilitres of "juice". Now I know what you boys are thinking but it most certainly wasn’t *that*

PP in da house

Juicelog Sat 110306: Got a touch of promo pressure today when Paedo P. gave me a sneak preview off his latest remix project. Basically he’s done an electro house remix of a track he messed about with a couple years ago. Like most bedroom producers he has taken the lazy method of using a sample (in this case it’s the vocal from Sharon Redd’s “Never Give You Up”).

On the whole I like what he’s done with it but it’s very hard for me to rate it properly as I only got a snippet of it played to me over the phone. It possesses a funky sound driving bass line to keep it chugging along but there are areas that he could modify:

• to ensure it doesn’t sound under produced
• to change the breakdown to find more of a commercial hook (if he is serious about doing some serious disco damage)
• to include a loop of some kind and/or melodic chords
• to find some diva to re-do the sample (personally I’d used someone like India but considering his finances he’ll be lucky to get a pop idol reject)

erm I think that’s it. Wait a minute here, isn’t this going to be a completely different sounding tune?

Staying alive

Juicelog Fri 100306: Being more plant conscious was one of my mini goals this year. Not letting any of my five plants die would be considered a major success. Last year I woefully lost a medium sized money plant which is the main reason why my local Social Services department won’t allow me to adopt any kids.

The difficultly with my plants is that I have the types that require sunlight in order to stay alive. As a nocturnal person who tends to bed it late in the evening and therefore rarely ever waking up when the cock crows. Some of my friends tell me I am edging towards an asshole existence - what I think they are hinting at is that I need to discard my where-the-sun-don’t-shine lifestyle. To get round this problem I've now incorporated an obsessive daily routine of pulling up my blinds just before I go to bed. Now that I’m ready to proceed to the next level, anyone wanna lend me their Loving and Looking After Your Husband handbook?

Play in less than 13 words

Juicelog Thurs 090306: A couple weeks ago I met some dude at a house party. Can’t remember his name but I do recall us having a brief natter during the evening. He came across as being an affable chap, slightly intense, not bad looking and fairly sizeable muscles (I remember a very stretched white t-shirt). Received the following cyber message a few days ago:

“Juicy, its you! We met at _______ party in ________. Wanna play?”

It’s a sorta interesting way of making a proposition given that we didn’t flirt. We didn’t give each other intimate body rubs. And we most certainly didn’t exchange any juices (so to speak). As my body is still experiencing a high dose of "H" induced licentious chemicals, I chose to respond with one of my favourite SW9 quotes:

“No jiggy jiggy”

That’s Vauxhall toilet attendant lingo for “please refrain from uber low rent behaviour by not dirtying up my work environment with your squalid and feculent shenanigans”.

Fit but you know it

Juicelog Wed 080306: Has Mike Skinner (from The Streets) lost some weight? Definitely digging the new skinhead and dapper look.

A view of Malo

Juicelog Tues 070306: Have finally received the photos for New Years Eve 05. Here is a snapshot of the brilliant time we had in St. Malo!!

When you least expect it

Juicelog Mon 060306: You know when you get one of those days which catches you unaware, I absolutely had mine today. Within the space of a day my feelings about someone I know (let’s call him “H”) has changed quite drastically. I am not going into specific details about “H” coz I’m currently in that space which is somewhere in between feeling perplexed and vulnerable.
“H” is someone I haven’t known for a long time and is somebody I usually meet within a social setting intermittently. When I first met “H” I didn’t have any physical and emotional feelings for him but I now find myself going through that silly teenager infatuation phase. It doesn’t make sense as this person on paper doesn’t tick all the boxes on the Juicemaster’s ever growing shopping list so to speak. As a self assured individual who likes to be in control of my emotions I don’t like being where I am at the moment. The lust thing I can handle but liking someone and having strong feelings is a much trickier thing to deal with.

Went for a jog today in the mid afternoon sunshine after my melon breakfast to gather my thoughts. As I haven’t been jogging in ages I felt a big sensation of exhilaration after my run. My mini sprint didn’t do much for my mental state of mind but it did give me a big natural adrenalin rush (something which I haven’t felt for a very long time). Spent all day trying to convince myself that this all can be attributed to the ketchup effect. This post will most probably come across as being too cryptic but then given the current situation and circumstances I don’t want to give too much away until I’ve given this a bit more thought.

Sing it Christina

Juicelog Sat 040306: Tonight I watched Parkinson. Don’t even think about sending me e-mails dissing me for watching his show. My main reason was to catch the Tony Blair interview which I did. But in doing so I also saw Christina Aguilera and Andrea Bocelli (unkempt and podgy blind Italian opera singing geezer) performing their cover of Armando Manzaneros "Somos Novios” (the English version was by Perry Como titled "It’s Impossible"). Most of you might not know this song by name, but will undoubtedly recognise the song (as it has been used in many a film and advertisements).

Andrea does his usual amazing crooning in effortless style. Production values on this track are top notch with a well polished and first rate orchestral arrangement. Christina who I’ve always viewed as a second rate Britney bubblegum RNB / pop princess really dazzled me with her vocals and holds her own against this operatic giant. Throughout the final stages when she undertakes the massive task of ad libbing whilst Andrea is singing sounds solid and really works in her favour which I didn’t expect (exceptionally outstanding for a live performance). This is going to be one of those points in her musical career when the music listening audience will embrace her musical transition with an ounce of deference. Yes that’s right the Juicemaster is bigging up Christina.

Dinner with the Poles

Juicelog Wed 010306: Fearlessly braved the Antartic like weather tonight for my dinner appointment with the W12 Polish posse (Disco Mikhal, Ema and Agata) tonight. Ema did the cooking starting with a tasty Polish dill fish starter (which went nicely with the wine) followed by Salmon pasta bake and finishing off with a yummy raspberry ice cream sundae.

The view from their 16^th floor flat kitchen window overlooking the Shepherds Bush’s skyline was breathtaking. Never in my juicetastic west London existence did I imagine that a 16^th floor flat could provide such an awesome view. As I didn’t bring my camera with me I guess I will have to go back for dinner (yet again) just so that my readers will know what I’m referring to. Most of the duration of our chilled evening was spent talking about Alex and comparing certain aspects of Chinese and Polish traditions.

Ema put a bit of pressure on me by seeing if I could come up with a nickname for her but unfortunately the second name process happens by serendipity. Am considering rename Disco Mikhal to Chinese Mikhal because:
a) Mikhal has not really disco’d it much over the last year or so (especially after settling down with Laurent)
b) during dinner we realised that Mikhal when pronounced in Polish really sounds like the Chinese (Mandarin) word for “Hello”

Think I will need to take this to the Big Britain committee to see what the rules regarding re-naming second names are.