United 93

Juicelog Wed 310506: Dan E. and myself went to watch United 93 tonight. United 93 is a docu-drama of the events that took place on board the last plane to be hi-jacked on 9/11. It is shot in real time and one of the great things about this film is that Paul Greengrass (Director) skilfully puts you on board of that plane whilst showing the chaos on the ground as the events unfold. This is important because Greengrass says something about those nonsensical conspiracy theories about the government shooting down the plane.

But more importantly what Greengrass does is he offers a genuine celebration of the heroism of the passengers on that plane who fought back against the terrorists. The film ends with a silence which signifies its moral purpose and the noble cause that took place.

In airplane thrillers where all the people die we are usually allowed to get to know the characters and to have an emotional investment so that we then care. But Greengrass doesn’t do that and he’s right not to do so. Instead we’re not quite sure who’s being stabbed even though it’s terrifying.

About three quarters through the film I felt quite sick due to the shakyness of the camerawork. During the moments when I wasn’t feeling so queasy I did find the film very gripping and affecting, but it didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know and this is where I think the film lacks some intellectual depth. There is a lot of emotional truth but what I really wanted to know was why did these people take it upon themselves to try and fly a plane into the Whitehouse.

Signs

Juicelog Tues 300506: Back many moons ago I used to share an office with a gay boy called Matt J. Working with Matt was a highly enjoyable experience for me as I found him to be a sharp witted chap who inspired me with his impeccable taste in style and design. As a perfectionist there were times when his attention to detail bordered on the obsessive but he always managed to do this with such light heartedness. When Matt finally decided that he had enough of commuting into London and that he wanted to find a job nearer to home (in Brighton) to give himself a better quality of life, my manager was then presented with an extremely difficult challenge of finding a replacement for him. My bosses finally appointed someone called Sandra to take over from Matt.

Sandra on her first few days seemed okay but then after a while everyone started to realise that there was something that wasn’t quite right about her. Apart from being a power freak we also found out she was a bible basher. For the past two years I’ve had the adverse luck to share an office with her (which is not too dissimilar to sharing an office with God). Our daily conversations rarely stray from work stuff, the weather and how busy our weekends were. Luckily, we’ve never been unpleasant to each other as those types of situations never arose.

Last Friday I saw her wearing a badge that simply had the word Signs printed on it in a flame-like font. This got me slightly curious and so I then asked her what the badge was for. She said it was for a motivational training event that she was going to in West Ham Stadium in a couple weeks time. I confused her Signs event with one of those self-help seminars (that are de rigueur in the US) and proceeded to quiz her about which motivational guru was taking the seminar. She proceeded to tell me more about details of the event and tried to persuade me that I should go along to Signs.

Today, like one of those persistent insurance salesperson Sandra gave me a leaflet just in case I had forgotten about the conversation we had the other day. Most people at work have more or less cottoned onto the fact that I am a more of a fan of pizza (i.e. cheese) rather than sushi (i.e. fish). There are a few subtle clues in my office which should assist her in working out what my sexual preference is. Par example:

Now I’m quite certain she has got quite a good inkling and that is why she has never asked me questions about my personal life. Whereas Matt J’s second question on a Monday morning would have usually been “how many and how big?”

Yet another reason for bank holidays!!

Juicelog Mon 290506: Time's up! As I've already started the weekend I will therefore finish it!

A text message all the way from SE5 landed with acute swiftness and precision on my bedside table in the early hours of the morning which caused me to stir. As I heard the phone vibrating I found it practically impossible to ignore and continue with my quest of pursuing a well earned marathon sleeping session. My fingers reached round for my antiquated Nokia 3510 to see what potential emergency required my assistance.

It was one of those extremely short and sweet messages from Dan E. that read “Classic Orange?”. Two words that somehow made sense to me in my morning muddled state even not it would not technically qualify as a sentence. From this moment onwards an evil seed was subconsciously planted inside my mind. Within the space of 10 minutes it had blossomed into an adult-sized sturdy and unbreakable tree of immorality and impiety. Onwards and upwards towards the Orange skies was where this mofo was heading.

Before my toothbrush had even had a chance to dry out from last night I was suddenly whisked into a frenzied state of rushing around before the SW9 tornado sucked me up and carried me off into the city known as after-hours.

Before G (Jacob, Londan & PJ):


After G (Jacob, Londan & PJ):


Campino & Juicy:


Danimal caged (Dan E):


Raphael & Juicy:

Lighting Engineer:


Jacob:

Dan E., Paul & Juicy:

Christen (AKA Juicy's Hubby):


Juicy & Diana Ross:

Jacob & Londan:


Juicy & Marcus:

Jacob & Raphael:


Christen & Juicy
(note: that is not a gap between us)

Reasons - Bank Holiday Sundays

Juicelog Sun 250506:

One good reason not to go out on a bank holiday Sunday: Beyond Foam Party.

16 good reasons to go out on a bank holiday Sunday: Later, Later and more Later.

Adam (phwoar no. 1) & Diego:

Juicy & Amateur (world exclusive):


Adam (still phwoar no. 1) & Marcus:


Amateur & Juicy (again):


John & Gary (absolute nutters):


Juicy & Adam (phwoar again):


Londan & Adam (oozing phwoar):


Juicy & The King:


Londan & (scally) Dan E:


Londan & Jacob:


Paul (phwoar no. 2), Juicy & (naughty) Simon:


Londan & Sean

(you ain't missing much by not seeing his face):


Marvin, Marty & Mark (the 3 M's):


PJ & Dan E

(and a certain someone who doesn't deserve to be on my blog):


Simon, Marvin, Marcus & Paul:


Juicy, Simon & Amateur:

Anne's Lunch

Juicelog Fri 260506: All of the Information people at work went to Anne W’s reproduction leaving lunch today at Ask. Her baby is due in two weeks time and the expected date of delivery is on 6 June. One apparent change I noticed about Anne apart from the obvious is that she has started to breath extremely heavily a la phone sex stylee. If I was sat any closer to her I could have worked out what brand of toothpaste she uses and exactly what time this morning she brushed her teeth.

Generally I would not normally hang out with the Information lot but Anne is a work colleague who has taught me a lot and has always taken time to show me how to do the more technically difficult aspects of my job. She can execute some pretty spectacular data analysis functions at lightening speed. There have been times when I have seen her bosses ask her for help because she is that good.

Chit chat over lunch was the usual polite sarky banter but I did obtain some worthwhile gossip at the dining table (someone in our substance misuse service is taking a grievance out against the Poison Dwarf). Yes that's right, even people at work can't escape from my nicknames.

My pizza was very average but the bannofie pie I had was to die for. An absolute slice of heaven:

A muffin not for stuffin

Juicelog Wed 240506: Before attending a conference this morning, I dropped off some emergency keys and eyedrops to Londan. He gave me a Costa blueberry muffin to try out. As he had been bigging up the blueberry muffins that they sell I was quite eager to try them out to see whether they were all that. As much as I enjoyed the jammy bit in the middle I have to confess that they didn’t do much for me. I found the blueberry bits inside tasted artificial and the muffin mixture was a tad bit on the heavy side. The best blueberry muffins I’ve ever had were the ones that Geoff C. (my ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s current American husband) made. Sainsbury’s sell American styled blueberry muffins which I would gladly eat any day of the week. Blueberries inside a muffin have got to have a dash of sourness as well as the usual sweetness in the form of chunky fruity bits.

The truth behind the myth

Juicelog Wed 240506: The conference I attended at the Irish Centre was entitled “Refugees meet the Press: the truth behind the myth” organised by Hammersmith and Fulham Refugee Forum. One of the main speakers was Yasmin Alibhai-Brown (columnist from the Independent newspaper). Yasmin was late and when she arrived she didn’t stay as long as she had promised the organisers. She turned up in what I would describe as a semi casual joggers outfit. As she walked into the main hall she looked a lot shorter than on the TV. The chair of the Refugee forum tried to the usual thing of introducing and welcoming everyone. He waffled on a bit and I could see Yasmin was getting inpatient. She then interrupted the Chair halfway through his sentence and said in her robust manner: “I really must start as I can’t stay for too long as I’ve got to write a column this afternoon for the Evening Standard. Without wishing to sound self important.” And within the next 20 seconds she was going through her speech, which covered some of the following points:

• She opened her speech by talking about how ashamed she felt to be a journalist.
• We are going through quite a critical time and many stories covered in the national press are misinforming the nation at wide.
• How you would never hear about businesses complaining about refugees because they need these workers. Refugees make a contribution to the UK economy and the idea that they are denying us jobs is a myth. Recently the Home Office discovered that some of their cleaners (employed by one of their contractors) were illegal immigrants. Thinking about what these people which includes the job of cleaning toilets (a job that not many people are willing to do) why did the media make such a big story out of it. What actual harm were these cleaners doing? It was not rape. It was not theft. It was not murder. They were simply trying to earn a living.
• Yasmin found the Labour parties targets of deportation repulsive. One of the things that we don’t realise is how extremely difficult it is for people to leave their homeland. This is the land of their ancestors and where they grew up. They often leave to realise their dreams or to sustain a life that they can no longer lead in their own countries. If this it not globalisation, then what is?
• The current UK system of asylum application does not work. Everybody has to lie because the truth does not get you anywhere.
• The UK has a history of 400 years of providing sanctuary and we as a developed country have a duty to provide continue doing so.
  The media is on a delirium. They make us think that one more refugee is going to sink the island.

She finished off by urging all groups and organisations to write into newspaper editors asking them to think about the way they write their articles on refugees and asylum seekers. I liked the way she constructed her pep talk and the only thing I’m not too sure I’d agree with is about lying to get pass the system. There has to be a system in place or else there would be ultimate chaos.

Spit it out

Juicelog Wed 240506: After many months of chit chatting on messenger I finally got round to meeting up with Richard (a fit 22yo linguistics student) as I was in need of some juicing. 22yo is really as low as I’d go because we all know that the magic formula is:

Minimum age = (your age / 2) +7
Maximum age = (your age – 7) x 2

When I went into his bedroom I thought I’d get things going as I needed to meet Matt B. (good friend of mine from Bristol) in town afterwards for a catch up drink. Before I even had a chance to tell him to strip he stuck his arm out with a tissue firmly placed on the palm of his hand and asked me to spit my chewing gum out as he strongly disliked the taste of mint (even though he used mint flavoured toothpaste). Chewing gum is not something I like giving up as I like to remain fresh at all times. Begrudgingly I handed it over with a you-will-pay-for-this-in-a-moment look.

Jindale

Juicelog Wed 240506: After being juiced I scuttled back into the West End for my 60 minutes with Matt B. Didn’t quite manage a full 60 minutes as Ashley called me from Amsetrdam as he wanted some advice for me. I had to cut him short as I was conscious that my minutes were quickly ticking away with Matt B. Had dinner with the Ibiza posse at Jindale (new Korean restaurant on Panton Street). Phu did the ordering and one of the dishes he ordered was this raw beef & raw egg yolk dish:

As unappetising as this sounds this was one of my favourite dishes. The last time I had eaten a lip smacking Korean meal was about 15 years ago with my mum. There were only a handful of decent Korean restaurants (in London) back then and were relatively expensive. For the first time ever I tried some Aloe juice which sent a sizzling sensation throughout my taste buds.

Brick

Juicelog Wed 240506: After our meal ten of us went to watch Rian Johnson’s Brick. Only eight of us stayed for the entirety of the film (David M. and Paul C. left halfway through the flick). This is not the easiest of films to watch even though the basic premise is about Brendan (played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) who goes in search of the death of his ex-girlfriend whilst solving the mystery of his high school drugs ring.

A deliberately complex and twisty plot that weaves in and out of this intricate web of deceit. All the elements are here. You have the femme fetale. You have the evil villain and his hot headed crew. You have the fancy film noir dialogue. Some of the dialogue contains some well scripted lines even though there are moments when you’re not sure what they’re specifically talking due to anachronistic slang. The film tries to address adult themes whilst being played by teenagers with only one adult authority (played by the vice principal).

All in all I felt like the whole thing didn't work for me. It feels as though the film at times tries too hard and ends up being contrived rather than taking us into that noir expressionism.

Humourous moments can be found in this stylishly produced flick when we discover that the Pin still lives with his mum and the high school drama queen’s lap dog. More of a limp experimental Bugsy Malone than Donnie Darko noir homage.

Ashley's big 3-0

Juicelog Sat 200506: Lifelessly sauntered down to the Champagne Bar tonight for Ashley’s belated 30^th bidet conference. Bumped into Johnie V. and Londan outside the venue. Curiously Johnie V took absolutely ages walking down one flight of stairs.

From the numbers that turned up tonight, it became quite apparent to me how Ashley has amassed literally hundreds of (male and female) friends over the course of 30 years. Apart from chums, Ashley has also harvested three mothers along his journey as well - birth, foster and step. Myself included (as his gay mother) would bring the total up to four.

Alison (aka Miss Boobies) made me chuckle when she screamed at Ashley to change his Simon Cowell outfit before we went down to da club. I think Ashley consumed a little bit too much champagne as he ended his twinkties with a dance move that I've never ever seen him perform before.



Miss Boobies's pics: