Spirytus Rektyfikowany

Juicelog Wed 300806: Briefly popped into W12 to see Disco Michal tonight before his holiday trip. He forced Spirytus Rektyfikowany down my throat:

It’s a Polish drink which comprises of alcohol (95%) dissolved with honey (except you can barely taste the honey). In between swigging my first and second shot I felt my ethnicity immediately change from Chinese to Polish.

I still can’t get over the evening skyline view from their flat. Absolute West London bliss!

In a park with no sparks

Juicelog Tues 290806: Having a bank-holiday break doesn’t hurt. Walking up and down the coastal path of Ilfacombe (in Devon) does. When my body told me it wanted to get away from the bright hypnotic strobe lights of London’s discoville, I decided it was time to camp it up at Newberry Farm.

From the grounds of the outdoors I unpegged the following about my darker side:

• how much I missed having a fridge, toilet and shower.
• tents are useful for protecting campers against the rain (ours was tested on Friday and Sunday night).
• I don’t like “four star” camping sites that bear a resemblance to the central reservation of motorways that impose a 10:30pm noise restriction (our group was told off by the warden on the first night).

Most of the local shops appeared to resent Tourism which by their displays of poor customer service. The coastline along Ilfacombe provided us with many different charming views.

Gaydar

Juicelog Fri 250806: Crashed at Miss Boobies flat in Horsham tonight. As she kindly gave me a demonstration of eBay, I in return gave her a tour of gaydar to satisfy her curiosity. And now she has her very own gaydar (guys) account.

Uninvited Guest

Juicelog Mon 210806: In keeping with my tidy appearance I tend to give my flat a bit of a rinse every now and again. During the course of my tidying up tonight I caught a glimpse of this black creature about 8cm long scuttle past me at lightning speed. With no human induced brain injury having taken place over the past two days I was quite certain that my mind was not playing tricks on me.

Not expecting this tiny little creature at my mister muscle party I jumped back feeling startled. I couldn’t quite work out what it was given my shock but I suspect it is either a mouse or a beetle. And with this in mind I went to my DIY toolbox and located the biggest hammer find in order to rectify my problem. Having nervously searched every nook and cranny of my lounge I could not unearth the insolent lil’ perpetrator and have taken some extreme measures to ensure that all routes to the kitchen have now been barricaded. Unfortunately my lounge door has a little gap underneath it and so I have had to do a little bit of improvisation:

My record of cleanliness has always been second to none and to have witnessed a little rodent in my home has put me at unease now. It’s the first time I’ve gone to bed worrying about three inches.

Grumpy, Doc, Bashful, Sneezy, Happy, Dopey and......Sleepy

Juicelog Fri 180806: Was in a funk tonight and had to really force myself out of my flat tonight to watch a seven minute stage show of guys in scally fancy dress revealing the ancient secrets of how they created their dazzling council-esque outfits. In the manner of my A-level statistics teacher, these performance artists chose to teach the audience by going backwards with a step-by-step methodology by disrobing first, before demonstrating how the costume was constructed from scratch.

August is one of the seven Gregorian months with the length of 31 days. With the sun moving away from the sign of Leo towards Virgo, it was quite apparent that this week was fairly tiring for a lot of tonight’s party people. Sleep deprivation amongst the Monday to Friday workforce is a common problem and it seems like people will grab a bit of kip at every opportunity available to them:

I think the European working time directive needs reviewing again.

Brad & Ruben’s bidets

Juicelog Tues 150806: Twelve of us went to Bar Shu for dinner to celebrate Brad & Ruben’s bidets. Sweated a little bit as a lot of the dishes were fairly spicy but highly delicious. David M won the prize for most outstanding birthday present when Ruben unwrapped a crack-pipe.

Brad:

Ruben:

Rock Me Baby One More Time

Juicelog Mon 140806: I dated an accountant. He bored me. I went out with a doctor. He over-examined me. I courted an actor. He didn’t even notice I was there.

Now I am after a singer — someone as vocally dexterous as me would be great. Last week I got slightly close to satisfying my new fetish when I bagged myself a mid evening session with a sound-engineer-come-singer.

Following the bog-standard inspection of each others mics, he took me upstairs into his lil’ studio and played me some tunes. Was pretty impressed with some of the songs that he had written, produced and sung on. Sometimes I make assumptions about peoples inability to sing from their conversational voice but in this instance I was wide of the mark. Of course he could have been an exceptional sound engineer and produced something which did not sound anything like his authentic singing voice. To assure myself of not being tricked by a phony I am going to ask him to sing acapella without the distractions of a microphone.

Homeless

Juicelog Sat 120806: This weekend I got made homeless as my Auntie Brenda and cousin from Hong Kong stayed at my flat. My mum didn’t want my Aunt to find out about my unwholesome cock obsession which meant I had to de-gay my flat completely.

As a result of my Aunt’s visit, I had to seek refuge at Mistress Cynthia’s pussy parlour. For those of you who have had the delights in touching my smooth ageless skin will know that I’m allergic to cats. Luckily I didn’t react to Suki & Ollie (Fritz’s cats). Fritz informed me that my allergy was most likely due to the juices inside the cats mouth, and as cats lick themselves this is why I don’t have any tank tops in my wardrobe made from cat hairs.

My First Vid

Juicelog Fri 110806: What's not to love about my digital camera!

Four Thousand Words

Juicelog Thurs 100806: Okay, okay. Two can play that game. Ladies & gentlemen have I got some visual delights for you or what. Here's a quick sneak behind door number one…

You want more? Alright then here's a lil' bit more...

Please! Please! Stop sticking wads of £10 notes in my back pocket. If you want more of the good stuff all you have to do is ask nicely….

If a picture paints a thousand words, then a photo breeds countless expletives.

Brighton Pride

Juicelog Sat 050806: Clone Zone sells a lot of products specifically targeted at the homo market. One of their most popular merchandise that they stock are gay calendars. These calendars are different to your standard regular calendars as the week begins on a Wednesday and ends on a Tuesday. There are fewer hours on the weekends and they also contain fewer Sundays. If you flick through the August month you will see a tiny party marked up in mine which is known to many hairdressers as Brighton Pride.

My day started off with a false rumour being discussed on the Orient(al) Express about an empty carriage on the 10:58am London Bridge to Brighton train. Having watched all of the parade a few of us took a mini breather by visiting Matt’s flat for mid-afternoon tea and to check out his prize winning courgettes. Physically we unhurriedly walked uphill to get to Preston Park for the party and spiritually we rapidly plummeted downwards as soon as we got inside the park.

Drinking, dancing and determining peoples exact whereabouts consumed the whole afternoon. Having lost all of my friends I started the day off with, I thought it best to pickup some of the left over park dregs and take them back to Matt’s flat hoping nobody would notice how I had carelessly (but humanely) lost me mates.

Saturday fused into Sunday with our group dilly dallying over our Sunday morning plans. Due to alcoholic limitations we were unable to venture out to join Dan E for the Woodington house party and ended up clubbing it instead.

Brighton has certainly developed from being a fun child and growing into a partytastic teenager at a phenomenal rate. If and when this entertaining August teenager decides to leave its seaside home, it will leave one big irreplaceable hole in my gay calendar and heart.

Dancing to the "Brighton Pride" song:

Not quite sure what this is suppose to be:


Da gang:

Some dude & Juicy:

Bent Dick's "female" looking armpit:

Marvin, Daddy Dick, Clitty, Bentdick, Dan E, Paul & Phu:

Juicy & anti-pride protestors:


Josh VDB & Juicy:


Marvin & Danny:


Clitty:


Bentdick & some fittie:


Marvin & two drinks:


Bill & Juicy:


Clitty, Marvin & Shelly:


Michael D, Clitty, Marvin & Javier:

Clitty, Marvin, Daddy Dick, Shelly & Bentdick's legs:


Michael D & Juicy:


Clitty & Marvin:


Steve & Shelly:


Clitty, Marvin, Paul R & Richard:


Marvin, Johnie V & Clitty:


Marvin loses his flip-flop:


Michael D, Christian, Clitty, Matt, Karl & Javiar:


Marvin, Johnie V, Clitty & Alison:


Clitty & some family:


Clitty & ?:


Daddy Dick pee'ing:


Juicy, Policeman 1, Tommy & Policeman 2:


A gay firestation:


Back row: Clitty, Matt S, Marvin, Tommy, Johnie V

Front row: Lisa, Michael D & Javiar


Panda outfit gone wrong & Juicy:

Clitty mashed: