freshly squeezed Juicy

GMF Bidet Bash

2008-08-31T02:00:00.003Z

Juicelog Sun 310808: Picking up R2 from the airport, we took him down to GMF to see if we could trade him in for some bonus friend points. Ditching us quite early on in the evening, he went to check out a local tripod stand. With loadsa punters squeezed in tonight, they opened up the upstairs roof terrace. Being too windy tonight, a lot of the boys were huddled underneath blankets sitting on the sofas.

That furniture place

2008-08-30T21:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 300808: Before I begin, I would like to clarify my position and highly stress that I DID NOT purchase any furniture tonight. We merely went down to Ikea tonight for meatballs, wiener schnitzel and soft ice cream.

The Split

2008-08-22T21:30:00.002Z

Juicelog Fri 220808: DB and DBB decided to call it quits last Sunday. To make matters worse, me and Paul B. took DB out to West 5 tonight. Jazzing up our boys night out we decided that as part of the recovery process, we created DB's first gaydar profile.

Soho Pride '08

2008-08-17T12:00:00.001Z

Juicelog Sun 170808: With the imminent arrival of the Beijing Olympics, I decided to get everyone into the party sprit with through the power of the j-hat. Starting off at Ruben’s dim sum bidet lunch, I drifted onto Robbie’s farewell Oxo Tower brunch before a final boomerang back into Soho Square.

Such a simple outfit caused a whole mixture of feelings from everyone’s intrigue with wanting to wear it to those who were shocked that I would have the audacity to spin such a wonderful item from the top of my head. Amazingly, both the hat and myself both survived this lengthy Sunday.

Spätzle

2008-08-11T21:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Mon 110808: Whilst having dinner with Satsuma tonight in Kreuzberg, I had a delicious ham and gruyere Spätzle dish (which is suppose to be quite a popular southern German dish). Extremely tasty comfort food that I will attempt to have a go at some time this winter.

Flo's Chillout

2008-08-08T07:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Fri 080808: Ended up at Flo’s flat for a chillout. Was slightly surprised with how some of these youngsters were mixing booze with their gina.

Chantal’s House of Shame

2008-08-07T01:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Thurs 070808: Touching down in Berlin tonight, we dropped off our bags and went to Chantal’s House of Shame (in Prenzlauer Berg) with Laurent D. Chantal is a drag queen who runs this night at Bassy’s Cowboy club. This is a neat little club with dimly lit red lights. It has retained features of its previous existence as a bank. Towards the back of the venue where they have a football table, you can see the bars and old deposit boxes. Like most of the old buildings in Berlin, this one also has not got any aircon and gets extremely hot.
Quite popular with the locals, the Berlin boys are attracted to this place because it is quite sociable and has got some tacky drag shows halfway through the evening.

Brighton Pride 2008

2008-08-02T10:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 020808: Pushing forward our meeting time, I tricked everyone to get to Victoria station at the right time. Occupying a fifth of the train carriage, we champagne our way through the early showers. Had a brief pit stop at Matt’s place to change into our outfits before heading over to the park.

Tiring myself out, I finally made it back onto one of the late evening trains back to London. One of the most tiring dates in the partying calendar.

Picnic / Kylie

2008-07-27T14:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Sun 270708: Taking the riverboat with sub division of big Britain from Westminster Pier, we cruised down to Greenwich Park for a sunny picnic.

After ditching the batfans we boogie’d into the O2 arena for Kylie’s gig tonight. Before the gig started, the cameras picked out Kylie-ettes from the packed arena displaying them on the monitors providing a comical start into the evening. The first 90 minutes of the show bobbed along with songs added more for filling effect. Distancing herself, she kept away from the ballads and performed quite a lot of new material along with some remixed versions of classic Kylie tracks. The stage choreography felt a bit bland which was slightly jazzed up with a homo moment when the male dancers dressed up as sailors. The Japanese outfits were like a pale imitation of an old Gwen Steffani moment. It was only for the last 30 minutes, that things picked up and got the audience into the groove.

GMF

2008-07-20T01:00:00.004Z

Juicelog Sun 200708: Located inside a high rise office block in Alexanderplatz is where GMF takes places each Sunday night. There is a dancefloor located on the 12th floor and one on the 15th floor. To get to and from each dancefloor, you have to hop into a lift.

Schwuz

2008-07-19T01:00:00.002Z

Juicelog Sat 190708: Trying out a new venue we went to Schwuz tonight in Kreuzberg. Schwuz is a basement club located at the back of a bar on 61 Mehringdamm. The front gives the deception of looking like any ol’ Berlin bar. When you walk inside and down the back of the bar, this is where Schwuz is located.

Ackerkeller

2008-07-18T01:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Fri 180708: Hooked up with Satsuma for a late but quick cocktail down in Kottbusser Tor. Left and went down to a Jewish party at Ackerkeller (a tiny club located in Rosenthaler Platz). At this club I bumped into Aner (a friend of Cynthia’s who I’ve never met before in person). He recognised me immediately and shouted out my name as we were walking through the door. It is now certified that the Juicy brand has penetrated the European suburbs.

Not really getting into the music, we played some table football before heading back home.

La Dolce Vita

2008-07-12T18:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 120708: This year’s theme for the annual highlight in Tiverton’s social calendar was La Dolce Vita. The Carnivale crew expanded their production values and injected more colour into this year's partay. With increased number of attendees, we decided to camp out at the back of the farm. Diluting the Italian theme, a group of young students decided to toga themselves up revealing more boy flesh than was absolutely necessary.

It was great that the group participation vibe is still strong and alive. Whatever your dancing ability, the ceilidh dancing is always good fun and guarantees a vigorous aerobic workout.

Before heading back home, we went to visit Jules Hebditch-Brooke (the only llama that is brave enough to approach and get stroked by human beings).

Orifice Warming

2008-07-11T19:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Fri 110708: Dan E, David M and Derek all recently decided to hire some work space at Bishops Terrace. Dropped into their funky surroundings for their joint combined orifice warming party.

Madrid Pride

2008-07-04T17:30:00.004Z

Juicelog Fri 040708: Cha cha cha’d into Madrid for some extended weekend street partying. Everyone appeared to be in Madrid this weekend and the place felt extremely crammed.

We stayed at Hostal Nuria, which was located near to all the street parties (right in the city centre). As convenient as it was, it was kinda difficult getting to sleep with all the noise that the Madrid-ites were making. These folks just want to keep on going until they're juiced out!

and he's back..........

2008-07-01T12:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Tues 010708: Just when you thought it was safe to turn on your PC monitors. Londan is unofficially back and lipping!!!!

Haremere Hall

2008-06-27T20:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Fri 270608: You can take the boy out of the blue rinse, but not the blue rinse out of the boy. Well, not unless you decide to spend a weekend down at Haremere Hall (in Etchingham). Celebrating Paul, Dan and David’s bidets we indulged in a weekend of trolley cleaning, mah jong, karaoke and a spot of lawn games.

The Two & Only

2008-06-26T19:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Thurs 260608: Boobita put on her best g-lord outfit to join us (Fragiler, Danny & Robbish) for Jay Johnson’s The Two & Only show (at the Arts Theatre). Reviving voice throwing in a 90 minute show, this chatty man brings in his friends (hidden in various boxes) one by one throughout the show.

With incredible tightly pursed lips, he gets through his memoirs and the history of ventriloquism. The script only really lightens up when he introduces the monkey. A range of non-stateside accents and female voices would have created some much needed variety.

Hot Tub '08

2008-06-21T15:00:00.003Z

Juicelog Sat 210608: Postmen are no longer as fit as they once were. The ones in SW19 are pretty hefty and take a lot longer to empty their sacks. Not being quick enough on their feet, our industrial sized order of the natural yella stuff was not delivered on time this afternoon.

Grinding up some lesbian dust whilst chanting Cathedral hymns we created our own indoor rays as the boys slipped in and out of their tub outfits.

China Design Now

2008-06-14T16:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 140608: The V&A museum in conjunction with HSBC, put on their China Design Now exhibition. Selecting three coastal cities (Shenzhen, Shanghai and Beijing) they showcased Chinese design with artwork, calligraphy, film, costumes, toys, mobile phones, painting, CD covers, web pages and mini architectural models.

Surprise Surprise in Nick's Eyes

2008-06-12T19:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Thurs 120608: Pecking on a late lunch we went down to Cha Cha Moon (on Ganton Street) before going to Nick’s surprise dinner. Cha Cha Moon is an upscale version of Wagamama’s. It's an incredibly cheap (at £3.50 a dish) offering modern tasty Chinese noodle based dishes. Locating the right Pizza Express, we waved our little flags as Nick walked through with a stunned look upon his orange’d up face.

Badeschiff

2008-05-31T16:00:00.001Z

Juicelog Sat 310508: Berlin has got some great hang outs and one of them is man-made styled bar beach (near Treptower Park station) called Badeschiff. Packing them in this sunny Saturday afternoon, buff boys and girls lounged about on the sand, the pier and in the swimming pool whilst Hed Kandi styled chill out music was piped through the surrounding speakers.

I Love Vauxhall

2008-05-25T18:00:00.001Z

Juicelog Sun 250508: Cloudy skies and the grey weather was not enough to deter us from bopping down to Foxhule for some gay street merriment. It was fun dancing around to disco beats being pumped from out from a double decker bus. It was even more amusing watching the gazes of the passing commuters going past on the trains up (above the arches).

As the beats wore on, my body nose dived slightly and I ended up being carried home by Pudz.

Grant Roger’s Travels Through Australia

2008-05-20T20:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Tues 200508: Leading on from the tights, we went to Grant’s Works On Wall Paper exhibition at La Galleria (in Pall Mall). Having a strong affinity to animals, Grant has moved onto flies this time. This stuff was much more preferable to the dog paintings I saw last time. A lot of this seemed inspired from the middle ages and nature, he made doilies and works created on Australian wallpaper.

Laddering Malevich's Tights

2008-05-20T19:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Tues 200508: The Larma, Cynthia and myself weaved round the streets of central London locating the Air Gallery to check out Dorian Ker’s Laddering Malevich's Tights exhibition. We analysed the large silkscreen prints in detail working out how they were constructed as we were thinking about replicating in the square motifs for a Blue Peter session.

Paul’s 40th Bidet

2008-05-17T20:09:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 170508: Re-adjusting our compasses pointing to point East I rickshaw’d down to the Dog House pub (in Kennington) for Paul’s soiree. Filling out the top floor with his fragrant friends, we admired a very unique birthday present. Paul works as a plumber for a living, and one of his friends designed and made a bling bling spanner for him.

Listening Post

2008-05-13T19:00:00.003Z

Juicelog Tues 130508: Danny, Martial and I went down to the Dana Centre (in South Kensington) for a private view and Q&A session with Mark Hansen & Ben Rubin (creators of the Listening Post). The Q&A tonight was carried out by video linkup (done by Skype). After a few technical hitches we got a chance to quiz these guys about their installation. Basically, they wrote a programme which randomly takes samples of online chats/conversations which are then converted into multiple electronic and sound projection. I quizzed Mark about this piece of artwork as I’m not too sure whether something like this contains enough artistic merit (even though it might fulfil the Turner Prize criteria). After viewing the installation afterwards, I did not feel like I connected with it because it just did not have enough to engage me emotionally.

One of the things noted tonight was that use of expression "I Am". Apparently it is one of the most commonly used phrases during online discussions. This phrase is incorporated into their artwork. Words and text are extremely difficult objects to work with artistically and this piece really did not do enough to take it beyond today’s IT savvy generation. Technologically, there is no denying that the concept is interesting and would no doubt be one of the new mediums that would spawn a new generation of artists.

Afternoon Archery

2008-05-11T14:00:00.001Z

Juicelog Sun 110508: Robin (Cindy’s mate) gave us a basic archery lesson this afternoon. I found the whole experience extremely cathartic. Fiddling around whilst trying to get the arrow into the bow and mentally getting yourself to fire takes you into a different mental state of mind. A lot of physical strength is required (for the arm that is holding the bow) as well as a steady nerve (for the mind). All of us first timers found the metal bow much easier to use than the wooden one.

Feeling pumped up from the summer heat, Pudz let me cut his hair after our archery session. Was rather proud of my effort even though there was a lot of room for neatness. Had some Chinese chorizo for dinner tonight. It was not as meaty or tasty as I described in the adverts.

DB's Bidet

2008-05-10T19:30:00.005Z

Juicelog Sat 100508: Slid down to Bloomsbury Bowling (underneath Tavistock Hotel) in Russell Square for DB’s bidet. On entering the Bloomsbury Bowling you’re greeted by an old styled cinema. Walking through the 1950’s retro design of the place (which included pool tables and milkshake/hamburger diners), we picked up our bowling shoes before heading down to the bowling lanes.

As well as bowling, this place also had a lot of people decked out in the fashion of teddyboys/girls, who were socialising and dancing along to groovy rhythm’n’blues and bebop music.

After bowling we tied up the evening with a couple of drinks at the Green Carnation before calling it a night.

The Merry Widow

2008-05-07T19:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Wed 070508: Me and Danny B. stayed for the first act of The Merry Widow at the English National Opera. Not being overly enthralled by the production tonight we decided to skip the remaining two acts of this operetta. The production had an antiquated feel to it (which showed with the crowd it attracted tonight) and produced some lukewarm chuckles during the comical moments.

Picking up Pang from Foyles bookshop we had a mildly amusing dinner experience at Viet (cheap Vietnamese dinner on Greek Street). As soon as the waitress realised that me and Pang both spoke Chinese, she became a lot more friendlier and chatty with us.

Daddy Dick’s late bidet

2008-05-03T21:00:00.001Z

Juicelog Sat 030508: Waving goodbye to Pudz (before his relocation to Berlin), I made my way back to London to initiate the weekend proceedings. Alex B cooked a delicious Gordon Ramsey risotto recipe tonight for Daddy Dick’s bidet dinner gathering. Stuffing our faces full of grub, we ditched dessert and topped our bodies up with some vitamins and cold remedies.

Chicken Pie

2008-05-02T20:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Fri 020508: Taking the role of his sous chef, I assisted Pudz with cooking a chicken pie (Nigella’s recipe). Got a bit carried away with the wine and ended up with the sauce being a bit too runny.

The Best Potato Recipe Ever

2008-04-29T12:00:00.001Z

Juicelog Tues 290408: With my recent eagerness to try out new dishes, I think that this is definitely the juiciest way to cooke a spud. One bite will have you smitten forever!

Cooke’ry Rules

2008-04-24T15:00:00.001Z

Juicelog Thurs 240408: Practiced my cooke’ing skills by making a Caramelised Onion Tart, Vanilla Shortbread and Coq au Riesling today.

Yag’ing It

2008-04-23T21:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Wed 230408: Partaking in a minor celebration we wined and dined (at Café Boheme) with the ever so gregarious Paul B as he wings his way over to London from Amsterdam.

Hashing It

2008-04-20T15:00:00.002Z

Juicelog Sun 200408: Vexing up our hotel waitress with juicily hand squeezed orange-juice, we donned on some sports gear for our first ever hash.

A hash is a social come outdoor activity group with a lot of the focus being on fun/humour. The Fuengirola hash (we attended this afternoon) meets up every Sunday in the mountains and follows an outdoor trail/course that is laid on by the organisers. After completion of the trail, everybody gets together for what is known as the “circle of death”.

The circle of death is the fun part of the hash get together. Basically the hashers stand around in a circle. This human sphere is presided over by a raconteur, whose job is to amuse everybody with gossip (that s/he has picked up during the course of the trail) about the hashers in attendance as well as concocting comical reasons to punishing people (with beer drinking).

Dinner at Pia's

2008-04-19T18:30:00.001Z

Juicelog Sat 190408: Cheering us up from the wet miserable afternoon, Sue and Pia (Lee’s mum) laid on a delicious Danish buffet spread tonight. Everything went down a treat especially with the schnapps flowing so freely. For tonight’s entertainment, Lee’s posse (including Sue and Pia) once again descended upon Torremolinos. After checking out the concrete outdoor furniture, me and Pudz retired back to our hotel slightly earlier than the congregation had planned.

Lee’s Bidet

2008-04-18T23:30:00.001Z

Juicelog Fri 180408: Got picked up from Malaga airport by Lee & Jakey. Dropping off our bags at our hotel, we hooked up with Lee’s bidet posse and hopped on a train from Fuengirola down to the nightlife in Torremolinos. Following in the traditions of Anglo-Spanish relations, we modified our liquid consumption to that of the Anglo locals. Was a little bit surprised to discover that drinking on the trains is not permitted. Things in Torremolinos don’t really get going until late (which is usually around 2am). By this point, poor little Jakey’s tiny body struggled and was forced to take an early stairs retirement.

Hot Gossip

2008-04-17T19:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Thurs 170408: Raced down to the drill Hall tonight to join Dan, Paul & JP for a recording of Hot Gossip (a BBC2 radio comedy show). Tonight’s host (Claudia Winkleman) was joined by a panel consisting of Jenny Éclair, Paul Ross and Robin Ince. Covering celebrity gossip a la heat magazine, each panellist competes against each other trying to provide some mild amusement.

Following dinner at Pizza Express we popped into Rupert Street to wish Danny JK a happy bidet.

A New Sign

2008-04-17T12:00:00.003Z

Juicelog Thurs 170408: Occasionally, I get randoms coming to my door with the intention of trying to sell me something which I have not asked for. To make people think twice before pressing my door bell, I decided to added a new sign next to my doorbell:

If this doesn’t prove to be useful, then I will continue to greet people from my window thus recreating the famous balcony scene à la Romeo & Juliet.

Replaced

2008-04-16T12:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Wed 160408: Having visited Danny & Martial’s flat recently and seeing the work that they had carried out on renovating their kitchen, I got inspired to do some mini DIY myself. On Monday I embarked on a mini challenge and finally had a go at trying to replace my kitchen tap/faucet.

Having done some pre-reading and familiarising myself with the theory and technique, I got on my hands and knees ready to do the dirty. My first hurdle was trying to work out how to remove the old tap. With my past history and experience of contorting myself into sweaty tiny little spaces accompanied with petite metallic instruments, I really did not enjoy laying underneath my sink. Not quite making any progress for quite some time, I finally worked out that my old tap had been soldered together (rather than fitted together with modern day parts), and decided that a touch of brute force together with some cutting implements was required. After spending a little while snipping and twisting away, I successfully removed the old fucker:

As I was fitting the new tap in, it was brought to my attention (by Danny) that I was missing a braided tap connector. Stopping mid-operation I rushed out to purchase this essential piece of equipment. With everything in place, I turned on the water but was annoyed to discover that there was a tiny leak coming from my cold pipe. One final attempt before jacking this in, I got a tap replacement and everything now appears to be in working order.

Spending a bit longer than I had expected, I feel immensely proud of my efforts and the valuable additional knowledge I have gained of very basic household plumbing.

Lime Pie

2008-04-11T12:00:00.001Z

Juicelog Fri 110408: My first attempt at making at Key Lime Pie. Over baked it slightly as I didn’t realise that the filling thickens up quite drastically as soon as it cools down. It’s technically not a key lime pie because the limes I used aren’t from Florida.

Scott C.

2008-03-27T19:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Thurs 270308: Following a boozy late afternoon with Paul B. and making him late for his Ashtead dinner, I hooked up with the Phu fighters at Soho Theatre tonight to check out Scott Capurro’s show.

Scott came on and picked on the people in the front row which he then weaved into his act. His gags go beyond what is deemed to be acceptable by the politically correct crowd. Not that I personally had a problem with him doing jokes about race, Maddie Mclean, Islamic fundamentalists, HIV, or women, but the content of it felt very outdated. As brilliant as his delivery is and building up the punchlines, I felt I was travelling on a rant that was going anywhere. The parts that raised my eyebrows were more to do with how shocked I was to hear his distinctive San Franciscan whiny voice dispensing material that struggled to reach the gut. A definitely revision is required for his next set of prompt cards.

Apple Tart

2008-03-25T20:00:00.001Z

Juicelog Tues 250308: My first apple tart.

Bread&Butter Pudding

2008-03-21T12:00:00.001Z

Juicelog Fri 210308: Had a go at making Steve’s legendary bread and butter pudding. Replacing the slices of white bread, we used brioche rolls instead.

Last Trade

2008-03-16T11:00:00.007Z

Juicelog Sun 160308: Forcing ourselves out of bed, me and Pudz arrived at Gurnmills mid morning for the last ever Trade. As expected Turnmills was swamped with toilet queues stretching out to deli counter lengths and clubbers struggling to remain sweat free. It was a robust reminder to the ravers why Trade once was the daddy of all afterhours. Keeping things light, we kept our consumption levels low in order to retain a little something for reminiscing purposes.

Disappointed with the lite lounge we slipped away before the final record and wrestled our way into Andrews flat for Chillout Numero Uno. Whittling down the numbers we then slinged it down to Darrens squared for Chillout Numéro Deux.

Iberico

2008-03-14T21:00:00.001Z

Juicelog Fri 140308: Dirtying up my speckless passport with some new stamps, I ventured up to Nothing-ham to see Pudz. After hearing all the hype about Iberico, I finally made it tonight for a meal tonight. Tucked beneath the galleries of justice is where you will find this trendy basement restaurant which serves up divine amazing Spanish fusion food termed World Tapas. Fingering items on every page of the menu we consumed:

Saddle of rabbit served with mushrooms
A selection of Spanish hams (Lomo, Serrano, Chorizo, Salchichon and sourdough bread with honey truffle)
Albondigas (meatballs)
Potatas Bravas
Soft shelled crab
Toasted raisin bread with vanilla ice cream and pedro ximinez.

As thoroughly as I relished my meal, the only reason why I ventured up to Nottingham was of course to hang out with Pudz.

DBB’s 30th Bidet

2008-03-08T19:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 080308: Tightly packed into the velvet area (at the Jewel Bar for Covent Garden) we went along to yet another aging denial group gathering tonight. Tonight’s victim sacrificed to the fossil gods was the hip wiggling Richard B. AKA DBB (Dry Bitch’s Bitch).

My first crumble

2008-03-07T21:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Fri 030303: Dipping my finger into the pudz again, I had a go at making my first apple crumble tonight.

Sevilla

2008-03-03T19:30:00.002Z

Juicelog Mon 030308: Gliding along to Sadlers Well theatre, I accompanied Bouncy Boy for the opening night of Sevilla. Situated third row from the front we watched General Maria Pagés and her assembly of flamenco foot soldiers spin and strut their stuff.

Delivering the expected drama, hand movements and frantic pitter-patter, there were some neat little tricks incorporated into this production. Kick starting the beat it started off with a group performance (along to a waltz) which had a very West Side Story feel to it. There is a wonderful part of the show where the whole theatre is blacked out and all you can see are several pairs of luminous spotted shoes dancing like the beginning of a Michael Jackson video. At times I found the Moorish wailing from the singers quite overpowering and the band could have toned down for some of the finger clicking dances.

Surprisingly, the number of colourful outfits utilised would not look out of place at a Kylie concert. Giving it some varying touches, walking sticks were used as props and Argentinean Tango as part of the soundtrack. Injecting a bit of humour they conjure up this amusing scene with the ladies and their fan. Watching her shawl spins, Maria is a total diva and commands the stage with that twisty and defined physique of hers. From castanets to clapping to choreography, this show is a gripping ocular delight.

YK @ Victoria Miro

2008-02-29T17:15:00.000Z

Juicelog Fri 290208: Glancing around the Victoria Miro gallery (Wharf Road, N1) we checked out the Yayoi Kusama’s exhibition this afternoon. Yayoi is a 77yo Japanese artist who incorporates elements of her mental illness into her imaginative work. On display was the colourful Dots Obsession - Infinity Mirrored Room (massive polka dot inflatable sculptures), her monochromatic silkscreen canvases, Prisoner’s Door (a tall silver coloured grid framework), Love Forever (an infinity mirrored room) and the Narcissus Garden (mirror spheres floating on the canal).

The Victoria Miro gallery as a building itself is worth checking out if you fancy seeing some modern minimalist architecture.

Robbie’s Bidet

2008-02-23T18:00:00.002Z

Juicelog Sat 230208: Drenched our bodies with a heavy liquid starters and nibbles tonight before actually making in to Mama Malaysia’s for a proper dinner. Zac demonstrated how to make some extra pocket money in a central London bar on a Saturday night.

Winnebago swallows his ego

2008-02-19T21:40:00.001Z

Juicelog Tues 190208: Without thinking things properly I triggered off a rift between myself and Pudz. Our situation arose as I was feeling a bit frustrated and made a huge mistake of expressing myself inappropriately. Not handling things appropriately, our courtship quickly descended and snowballed into a bleak and dreary moment. It is well documented in the chairman’s essays of badge and mind, that no month in the Juicy calendar is complete without there being a tense drama of HBO proportions.

With a slight spiteful intent, I made some mean and hurtful remarks during my conniption. As I currently try to patch things up with my McLove of all loves, I have been thinking and wondering as to how other people overcome these issues. If there is one thing I have discovered from this incident is that I want him more than I have previously wanted. This squabble has emotionally woken me up; the risk of things going wrong again is not something that can ever transpire. As such we will be reviewing the way we communicate and interact with each other, since this is no ordinary love.

Chef Juicy

2008-02-17T12:00:00.003Z

Juicelog Sun 170208: Been experimenting in the kitchen recently and indulging my sweet tooth. I’ve had a go with Portuguese custard tarts (Bill Granger’s recipe) and carrot & Orange cake (BBC website recipe). Producing these don’t require a lot of skill but my presentation still needs improving:

Jay & Evi’s Bidet Dinner

2008-02-16T19:30:00.002Z

Juicelog Sat 160208: At long last I got to check out Bonnington Café in Vauxhall for Jay & Evi’s bidet. One of the cheapest vegetarian cafes in the London area - had a scrumptious three course meal (roasted chips with chutney, Aloo bean curry and apple crumble) all for the price of a tenner.

Hobson’s Choice

2008-02-14T12:00:00.002Z

Juicelog Thurs 140208: Celebrating our first February amative day, I packed my passport and Nottingham guide book and took a trip to the midlands this afternoon. Following an early dinner at French Living, we went to the Theatre Royal to verify the elasticity of my skin (I got ID checked when ordering two gin and tonics) and to see Hobson’s Choice.

Hobson’s Choice is a play that looks at the clash between an authoritarian widower, Hobson (a respectable boot maker) and his three daughters. Set in a boot makers premises in Lancashire, the girls are eager to get married and leave the family home and father’s boot making business. Acerbic Maggie Hobson (the eldest of the three daughters) hatches a cunning plan to rid herself (and her two youngest sisters) of her father’s patriarchal hold.

John Savident (who plays Fred Elliot in Coronation Street) gives a dazzling performance as the hapless and penny pinching Hobson. With his large figure, his facial expressions and rubbery face is absolutely suited to this role. The incompetence of the men provide a lot of humourous moments, which is well executed with brilliant comically timing.

What is suppose to be a comedy about the class structure and one man's struggle to reconcile himself with this new status as the women become empowered, this production doesn't really add anything new to the discussion about class and the second half was a bit too long.

Brangel’s Gay Games

2008-02-09T20:30:00.002Z

Juicelog Sat 090208: Crowding around Nigel and Brad’s stunning translucent glass table we attempted an evening without the assistance of Frank. Rubbing our palms together we launched the games evening with making some pizza; varying the toppings and even made one without cheese. The Asian team dominated Family Fortunes. During Size Matters we got interrupted by Frank’s son (a cute non pizza delivery boy). Finished the evening of with a language guessing game and who’s got the fastest taxi.

Kew Gardens

2008-02-07T21:34:00.002Z

Juicelog Thurs 070208: Strolled around Kew Gardens with Pudz this afternoon checking out the Palm House and a couple of the Henry Moore installations. The Palm House is exciting with its range of tropical plants dripping in humidity and some interesting information. It was extremely inspiring for my geographical taste buds.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

2008-02-05T18:30:00.001Z

Juicelog Tues 050208: After work, DBB and myself toddled down to the Renoir cinema to watch The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. This flick delves into Jean-Dominique Bauby’s (former editor of Elle magazine) experience of living with “locked-in syndrome” following a paralysing stroke. Locked-in syndrome is a rare condition in which the individual can see, hear and think, but is unable to move or speak.

The only way Bauby is able to communicate is by using his left eyelid and blinking when letters of the alphabet are read out to him. Adopting this technique he painstakingly construct words/sentences which then eventually leads to a brief memoir of his experiences. With a compassionate treatment of the subject matter, you enter the world of this rakish 43yo playboy observing business relations as well as his family and intimate relationships.

Taking on the challenge of trying to represent this cinematically, what is blinked out is very pretty on screen and the dreamlike images of his memories are emotionally engaging. It’s chic and deeply affecting piece of work without coming across as being too overly sentimental.

Chiswick Car Boot Sale

2008-02-03T10:00:00.002Z

Juicelog Sun 030208: Waking up early today I got to discover a new local event with Larma, Lisa, Cynthia, Jay & Evi this morning. Browsing and bartering around we went to the monthly Chiswick Car Boot sale (which takes place the first Sunday of every month) to see what deals were to be had. Larma came up trumps picking up a very fine pair of legs:

Andre’s Bidet

2008-02-02T22:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 020208: Just easing myself back into society with a minor appearance at Andre’s bidet drinks at Profile Bar tonight:

Silent Times

2008-01-31T12:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Thurs 310108: January has been tranquil for me as my outer human crust loathes venturing out into the current cold climate we’re experiencing in Londres. During my hibernation cycle I have slowly been catching up on some much needed rest and taken some time to consider how I might make this year a bit more eventful and fulfilling. One of the thoughts that I have been considering is the possibility of taking a one year sabbatical from my job to go and work abroad. The idea of 12 months in Asia whilst working in the kitchen of a fine classy eatery really appeals to me. Temping, bar work or giving 'L' lessons (i.e. teaching English) would not be my first choice as I am really eager and determined to learn the basics of cooking.

Testing myself in another area of my life, I am trying to see how long I can actually persist with my current bout of disco dormancy. Not possessing any recent thrilling tales to excite you with, here is an extract from my last trip to Trade which I have not had a chance to post. Last time I was at Turnmills I was queuing up (by myself) to use one of the cubicles inside the Ladies Restroom. For those unfamiliar with the layout of the female toilets, here is a basic outline:

With the queue progressing along in a turtle like fashion, I got talking to a charming young man standing behind me in the line. His name was Tom and he was a 24yo psychology student from Tel Aviv. Complimenting me on my physique and youthful facial features, I politely out of common courtesy praised him on his perfect Adonis-like body. Changing the conversation to a more neutral topic, I started quizzing him about the finer points of his psychology course. As we were nearing cubicle number eight, which happens to be one of my favourite cubicles (given it’s more spacious than the others and has better feng shui), Tom invited me into the cubicle with him. Not sure about how honourable his intentions were, I hesitated and paused at the doorway. Assuring me that he only wanted to continue our discussion I reluctantly hopped inside with him.

As soon as we were inside the hot and humid compartment, he started to unzip his trousers and reached inside his undies to get his “booty baton” out. I panicked slightly as I didn’t want to engage in unacquainted jousting given that I had already committed myself to Pudz’s power pistol fencing for professionals. Rummaging through my mind at the speed of light whilst struggling with the effects of the dummy dust (i.e. pony tranquilizer), I tried to think about how I could kindly excuse myself.

Mercifully, I didn’t have to say anything as Tom was having a number one inside the confines of number eight. When he finished tinkling, he tucked himself back in and turned around. Face-to-face, he looked at me like he was waiting for something to happen. What followed was a slightly awkward moment of silence. Sensing that we weren’t going to be discussing Jung anymore, I opened the door leading him out and informed him I would locate him on the dancefloor.

Alex’s Bidet Dinner

2008-01-26T20:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 260108: Snaking along the dark and dimly lit back streets of Piccadilly, we rejoiced in Alex’s senescence at The Club Bar and Dining. We were strategically sat with Alex taking up the godmother position around two semi-circular tables. Thank the almighty Allah I had an apple & lychee mojito to keep me company whilst we were waiting for our food to be served. My main course of confit of duck (served with roast veg) was enjoyable. The poached pear in red wine had a citrus falvour to it with the texture being slightly on the firm side. It was accompanied by ice cream and an exceptionally tasty shortbread biscuit.

Popped into YAG Late for a nightcap with Fras-meo and Johnny-iet after the meal. As we were about to leave the bar, Johnny V got accosted and molested by this drunk dunderhead who was being extremely full on with him. Johnny didn’t take too kindly to his physical manner, and following a few heated words a mini punch up ensued. As the whole incident happened so quickly we departed feeling fairly stunned and shocked.

Chicofahy tick, what next?

2008-01-24T12:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Thurs 240108: It’s been about 35 days since my Chicofahy scalping and my hair is quickly growing back to its usual length. In a world where length rules supreme and forms the basis of the currency amongst the gaylords, I have been considering adding a couple of inches (to my hair) by non Harley Street means. Adopting the little red book as my style icon to give myself a Chinese communist look is kinda appealing. Good or bad idea?

JB’s Bidet

2008-01-17T18:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Thurs 170108: Occupying two tables and a tenth of the bar area, we hung out at The Box tonight to count the number of pocket sized plastic packets JB received in honour of his certified just for men moment. Tonight was the first time that some of the phu-fighters boys got to meet the wind beneath my hot’n’spicy wings, we followed the custom of splashing red wine onto the right knee of our recently appointed elder. The spring chicken I bestowed to chief JB was spared from the ritual sacrifice, and so I took him home instead for a photofit session.

Sore Of His Ring

2008-01-13T12:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Sun 130108: My recent attempts to silence the gossip mongers and the tittle-tattle circulars has proved to be futile and fruityless. Amongst the many slurs that have been directed at me, include the story of Pudz being described as the lord of my ring. With the need to refute these yellow whispers, I took some corrective action by firmly locking a ring onto one of Pudz’s finger. When he complained that he was unable to remove the ring from the third finger on his left hand, I thought he was mucking about. Pudz then proceeded to show me that his finger had swollen and that the ring was trapped.

We had a go with using hand lotion, babyoil, liquid soap, a plaster and iced cold water to see if we could get the ring off and it still wouldn’t budge. It was like someone somewhere was trying to tell us that the ring should not be removed at all. After a little twisting and turning with the pliers we finally managed to pry it off and now I’ve got a new piece of jewellery.

Some January Bidets

2008-01-12T12:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 120108: Last night, my knight in pudding plating came to my rescue with some of lum lum’s 48:20 tonic. As a small gift for his heroic valour, I rewarded him with the pleasure and privilege of hanging out with me today. After the getting-to-know-Richard-better lunch at Wagamama, we indulged in some lottery scratch cards fun which took us back to Acton’s Oriental Store (which is run by non-Orientals and contained a handful of Oriental products). Rebounding back into the centre, we nipped into Ruby Blue’s for Christie’s bidet drinks. The bar was understaffed, the place was crammed full of alcoholics and it took forever to get served.

Completed the evening with Pudz’s bidet dinner, we went to Bar Shu (a Sichuanese restaurant in the West End). Not being extremely familiar with this style of Chinese cooking we ordered from the menu, and ended up trying out the cold pork slices, cold chicken slithers, steamed pork belly and chicken mince served in lettuce. If you like it Spicy, then this is a place for you to check out.

A Big Slip Up

2008-01-11T14:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Fri 110108: This morning I made an error of judgement, and slipped up appallingly. The fall was quite horrific and I’ve really injured myself bigtime. Even though I was able to prevent myself from falling, I somehow lost my footing and spiralled downwards rapidly. Before I fell I could visualise the moment I was about to plummet and desperately looked for something to grab onto.

Being the brainless idiot that I am, I reacted inappropriately and have now ended up damaging the most delicate part of my body (which is juicing out a massive amount of unbearable hurt and ache). Unfortunately this part of my body is so hyper-sensitive it cannot be inspected or alleviated by my doctor. I am trying to have to work out how I am going to be able to self remedy this intense anguish and pain. If anyone knows where I can get hold of Lum Lum’s 48:20 tonic, I would be eternally grateful.

The Country Wife

2008-01-02T19:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Wed 020108: Pudz and I arrived slightly late and tipsy (from cocktails at Digby Trout) for The Country Wife (at The Haymarket Theatre) and ended up watching the first half of this restoration comedy from the gallery upstairs.

The Country Wife is a romp comedy set in London in which Horner (Toby Stephens) feigns impotence in order to lure and seduce the local females and wives into his trickster hands. The plot then thickens with Pinchwife (David Haig) trying to protect his newly acquired young and naïve bride, Margery (Fiona Glascott) from the interests of the other unsavoury men. Inevitably Margery winds up crossing paths with Horner leading to harmful consequences.

Utilising a set of a boyish blue (Horner's batchelor pad) and girlish pink (Margery's childlike bedroom) to represent the two sexes, the audience gets taken back and forth between the two storylines in a single rotation of these colourful sets. This version does mix it up with a modern day pool table and rakes wearing jeans underneath their traditional costumes.

This classic farce of naughty innuendos is cleverly written with some witty lines. The differences between men and women is well highlighted. For the more PC conscious amongst us, the role of women are shown to be in belittling light even though the men are also typecast as bumbling sexual predators. It does however succeed in tickling the audience with cheeky puns and double entendres, creating a piece that translates extremely well even by Juicy’s comical standards.

Laters 2007

2007-12-30T01:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Sun 301207: It’s that time in the Juicelog where I think it would be only polite and gentlemanly of me to let you know how it went down this year.

In the space of the last 364 days I have celebrated twenty bidet celebrations, danced at five street parties, viewed nine plays and watched three Gina overdoses. Delving into a slightly different class of arts I enjoyed my first opera and my first ballet. It was also my first DIY success and first paintball experience.

The combination of going away with some of my closest and endearing friends to a hot island and an exciting city were definite highpoints. Like any equilibrium, a few millilitres of sunshine will always be counteracted by a suffocating measure of rain. And boy oh boy, it sure did pour down this year. Mind you, without the rain we wouldn’t have had a wet hot tub party, a drenched Londres pride and muddy outdoor festivals.

A couple of weeks ago, the unexpected death of a work colleague slightly shook me up. We weren’t the closest of friends but over the last five years I really warmed to her unconventional approach to relationship forming and amusing anecdotes. Irrespective of my spiritual belief in the concept of the afterlife, I hope that she remembers me (RIP Mo).

At the end of last year, I decided to take a more pro-active approach to maximising my social life which has really paid off and given me a real sense of fulfilment. I also opened up my mind to the possibility of doing that relationship thing again (should the opportunity have arisen). Not expecting anything to happen at all, I was somewhat tranquilised by the heavily toxic Pudz dart and am hobbling along in this superbly amorous state.

Winding up the last few remaining hours of my vibrant and lively 2007, I wanted to thank all of you who have tuned in over the past 12 months. And more importantly those who still continue to engage me and inspire me. Occasionally I check my visitor numbers and I am curious to the identity of my readers. If you’re feeling brave, please leave your name and message in the comments section below.

Here’s me dusting off a memorable 2007. Rock on 2008!

Xmas Day Festivities

2007-12-25T18:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Tues 251207: An Asian hot pot at Uncle Jimmy’s place (in Bounds Green) was the first Xmas meal of today. My adorable and extremely sweet 22kg four year old cousin (nicknamed "one bag of rice") was there and provided me with some cutesy amusement. Shuffling along southwards I then gorged myself with a traditional roast turkey at Robbie’s place. After executing a divorce from the dinner we devoted ourselves to the party and got the absinthe out.

Londan has been a regular attendee at Xmas Trade and as he wasn’t able to be with us this year (as he's on some lightweight diet), we honoured his absence with popularising one of his flyboy caps.

Intoxicated

2007-12-24T12:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Mon 241207: I have an extended family who I would like to introduce. A lot of you have met my friendly and popular uncle Charles. Billy, my cousin is more of an athletic type and never appears to sleep much (even in his old age). My little sisters Katherine, Erica and Mandy are the more sociable types who enjoy the odd party here and there. Gina is my unruly big sister who I choose not to bring out much as she can be a bit too much at times and who can blame her as she was raised by my scary and petrifying Aunt Tina. Aunt Tina is pregnant at the moment and is looking to give birth to her second daughter Melanie.

This month I have been spending quite a bit of time with a young man (Pudz) who has done extremely well with drawing attention to himself. Even though we are at that stage of getting to know each better, I have to admit that I have got a soft spot for him and my interest is still alive and buzzing. All that having strong affections for a human being nonsense is not something I tend to indulge in. And this is not because the juice-hub is detached or dispassionate but it tends to be that probability has not really presented me with anything significant to engage with. That is until now.

December is always a busy month for a lot of retailers and naturally I contributed with my fair share with my online orders of gifts and presents. I managed to get all of my orders on time, but norepinephrine.com did make a mistake and sent me an additional gift of a dandy beau which I clearly did not place an order for. As I am really fond of Pudz and his value marginally outweighs my books and LCD television, I think I'm going to hold onto him and take a risk with a family loan from Ocean Romance.

Daddy Dick’s Chrimbo Gathering

2007-12-22T21:45:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 221207: Paid my respects with my elders tonight by dropping down to Daddy Dick’s place for some pre Christmas drinks. Will post some pics later on when I get some sent to me….

The 7 Fingers

2007-12-21T19:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Fri 211207: Got some raspberries in this afternoon and had a go at cooking duck this afternoon. After lunch with me Pudz, we trekked up to the Roundhouse theatre to watch The 7 Fingers. This show combines some loopy comedy with a few Cirque de Soleil styled performance pieces (trapeze, aerial acrobatics, body contortions).

We were led to their seats by going through a refrigerator door on the main stage. Entering the auditorium tonight felt like we were entering a rave with the pulsating dance beats thumping away. 7 Fingers appeals to a wide age range, engages the viewers with some audience interaction, contains witty video clips and has a dope soundtrack supplied by the all singing beat-boxing DJ Pocket (who could be technically counted as the eighth finger). The show’s technical skills outweighs the artistic merit, and I don’t think they were able to piece together each of the fingers performance pieces so that it flowed smoothly. If you go and see this try and get seats that aren’t dead on centre facing the stage.

Chicofahy’s Salon

2007-12-17T12:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Mon 171207: Yesterday afternoon’s trip down to Chicofahy’s salon involved me being a bit more adventurous with my choice of hairstyling. Apart from having my hair permed 17 years ago, I’ve never strayed from my usual spiky look. Over the last couple of years, I have been considering about growing out my hair mid-length to deviate from my usual norm (and also before I started to go bald). Inspired by Dan E’s chop I thought I would be unoriginal and gave it a go myself. Here is a snapshot of Chicofahy’s handywork:

With the shorter hair I think it makes my cheeks stand out more. Something which I never noticed before is the actual shape of my head. Being able to clearly see the back of my head, I've observed a slightly peculiar shape and it’s something which I’m still getting used to. I like the fact that I have now tried something different, but can't decide on whether I should select a different appearance next time round or not. I wonder what you folks out there think……

Darren Squared Xmas Party

2007-12-15T22:00:00.000Z

plJuicelog Sat 151207: Boiracer Darren and Salsa Darren held a pre-chrimbo party tonight. Packing out their swish and decorative SE11 flat were the usual suspects (from the Phu fighters posse) and a lot of new faces. Less emphasis was placed on celebrating the birth of the baby Jesus and more on pushing the sofa out.

Part of my evening was dedicated to re-tuning the mental state of mind and outlook of one of my mates who had recently been presented with a new life challenge. The Darrens had their own challenge of trying to keep their place free of crayon and pastel imprints from a very fervent artiste in attendance.

Not sure if it was the brewed hops or the white compounds but some rascal had temporarily mangled our gaydar. I tried asking Damion (an Ozzie tweeny) to give us a hand with fixing it but he said he didn't have the ability to do so and left scurrying to get down to Angel. Got berated for spending too much time texting Pudz and had to at one point hide in the toilet.

With a mass exodus of the Fire-ettes, the party started to slowly die down but we fruitfully catapulted Sunday into a new level of hardcore trashyness (which included my first ever gina colada). As we were not allowed to play on the Darrens sassy non-Ikea branded piece of furniture, our little gang creatively amused ourselves with playing Wii, dressing up in last season’s leatherwear, a little bachata dancing, developing the JP marketing strategy and a trip down Chicofahy’s hair salon.

Cards To Mark That Occasion

2007-12-11T12:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Tues 111207: The month of December often leads to an excess of festive cards being sent back and forth. This is not something I condone as I think it’s a waste of paper for a seasonal gesture that can be done better in different kind of ways. Therefore I am asking for no cards to be given to me from now on.

In lieu of sending out cards I am planning on making a charity donation instead (to a homeless charidee). So I hope that when you don't receive cards from me this year, you will be pleased to know that a worthwhile cause has benefited instead. If anyone else would like to emulate my wonderful and brilliant idea, then I would be happy to accept your £80 registration and copycat fee.

If Carlsberg did weekends…

2007-12-08T12:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 081207: ….. then it just might come close to the weekend I just had. After lunching with Brangel, I met up with Pudz (AKA the seedy cook) with the aim of raising the curtain to our first date. The first act started off with a mini excursion down to Hyde Park for Winter Wonderland.

At the German market we picked up some Bratwurst to pump up the plump for Pudz’s belly. Viewing the lights against a pitch black Central London skyline (at 7pm in the evening) from inside the 50metre high observation wheel was fairly unremarkable and not as exciting as I had hoped for it to be. Hopped onto a couple of the over-priced funfair rides including a haunted house ride. The only thing that got scared were the teenage boys standing in the queue when they saw me and Pudz's kissing. Sipped on some mulled wine & winter Pimm’s before heading out Eastwards.

Pudz was a bit heavy on his feet tonight and missed our connecting northern line tube. After eventually catching up with me at Old Street, we proceeded with a Vietnamese dinner down Kingsland Road. During dinner, Pudz asked me a question which caught me slightly off guard and drove up my heartbeat. Located Pudz’s mates after din dins and joined them for a few drinks and a bop at the Joiner’s Arms.

Wii’ing it

2007-12-07T19:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Fri 071207: Indulged myself with dinner, watching a bit of Justin T's concert DVD and playing Wii at Julien G’s London flat in Girls Court tonight. Really got into my first experience of playing on the Wii. Around the age of 16yo I had lost interest in computer games and was surprised with how sophisticated the Wii was. The detail in some of the animation sequences were pretty damn impressive. Went a bit mad on the tennis game and ended up paralyzing my right arm.

Jack and the Lampshade

2007-12-05T20:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Wed 051207: Occupying a front row seat at the Battersea Barge, we (the larma, boobita, Christie, DB and DBB) laughed our whole evening away with Paul Martin’s fantastic and hilarious Jack and the Lampshade panto. Paul has deftly twisted jack’s dry beanstalk and shaped it into a colourful adults version thrown in with some clever jokes and popular references (Amy Winehouse, Coolen McLoughlin, Trinity from the Matrix, Wicked, etc). He somehow seemed to make the whole thing work even though he didn’t have the budget for all the props (which was also humorously referenced within the sketches). We all loved the way the cast had engaged and interacted with the audience. The songs were superbly sung along to a piano being played by the owner of the barge. Am delighted with being able to catch the last viewing of this. Absolutely juicetastic entertainment to keep the December blues away.

There you go, Winnebago.

2007-12-01T12:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 011207: A seedy cook from Leeds attempted to beat Juicepig (that’s my new nickname apparently) in a game of chess tonight. Taking out my queen at an early stage, I made a comeback making the most of my strong central positioning and eventually whooped the cook’s ass. Even though he didn’t excel with the chess, he made me chuckle a lot with some of his homemade northern expressions. In his trail of entertaining witticisms and gags, he left behind a white cloudy mess on my lovely red coffee table. Juicepig likes the way this one moves and grooves.

Xmas Factor

2007-11-30T21:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Fri 301107: Down in Bethnal Green is this wonderful little venue called Bistrotheque. Tonight John, the Larma and myself got into the festive spirit by going along to check out X-Mas Factor (panto directed by Jonny Woo). The show was very disappointing as we grew tired of the miming very quickly and there was a lot of mime in this show. A wooden spoon gag was introduced at the start and was carried on throughout the whole show but it lacked structure. The content of it was a bit all over the place and nowhere as sharp as Stark Dallas Naked. It’s one saving grace came when Kandice(sic) picked it up with her Ice Ice Baby rap.

Crazycakes & Londan’s Bidet celebrations

2007-11-24T22:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 241107: One Juicy minus 80 winks equals one grouchy juice. One Juicy plus a handful of twinks equals a heavy juicing. Starting earlier tonight we took last night's template of events and refined it for tonight’s programme of events, substituted with strong love from the heart.

A night of the Dans

2007-11-23T23:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Fri 231107: The unofficial start to the weekend begin at mine. After dinner with Crazycakes and Dan E, we whizzed up to Skankchester. Livened up the journey with dance choons and a shout out from Annie Mac on Radio 1. Got a shout out on the Annie Mac show (Radio 1).

Minor alcohol soaking occurred at Spirit Bar and Queer before heading down to cheesy Cruz101. Being 160 miles away from home, we were not aware of the local formalities. Cruz101 decided to adopt Stringfellows door policy and told us that a couple of us weren’t allowed in. On asking the security for a reason we were told “I don’t like the look of your friends”. As we didn’t have enough time to book ourselves into Harley Street, we opted for a night out at Unnecessary instead.

Friday nights in Manchester are always a bit quiet but we somehow still managed to extend it like a full length 12 inch remix.

Danny B’s Bidet

2007-11-16T21:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Fri 161107: Robbie and Zack threw Danny B a surprise bidet soiree tonight. All of us assembled at the back entrance on the second floor. We were closely watched by the security guard as we made our way up to the seventh floor. I think he wanted to take a massive chunk out of Zack’s creamy cake. At the appointed hour we barged into Robbie’s apartment trying to harmonize our unrehearsed version of happy birthday. Danny was immersed in his macbook and looked up with a slightly stunned expression.

Mike S. lugged the remaining party leftovers (Fragiler, Andre and myself) down to Trailertrash for some eastend electro-ness. Ended off the morning with an uber posh chillout in Clerkenwell.

Saturday Skating / Fireworks

2007-11-10T14:45:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 101107: Skidded and wobbled all over the outdoor ice skating rink at the Natural History Museum. Twenty years ago was when I went last skating and thought it would be relatively easy getting back into my stride, but it took me a lot longer to get into the groove.

Tubed it down to Temple to watch the Lord Mayor's fireworks on South Bank. Attendance was high and a lot of spectators obscured our view of a fairly unimpressive fireworks display. After some cold drinks at the Purcell Room we went for a boisterous dinner at the Marquess of Anglesey pub in Covent Garden. Martialmellow found an orange Italian toy at The Box which was faulty. As we couldn't amuse ourselves with the toy we gave it to Ashley for battery replacement.

Phu’s Bidet

2007-11-02T16:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 031107: London may just be one city, but this afternoon I went on a mini voyage heading down to the E2 area for Phu's bidet. Had an funky time trying to learn how to used the fridge bottle opener and ended up drenching Paul C in beer. Scoffed a whole load of Aaron's tasty homemade tacos with a Latino-asian styled filling.

Meeting T K Maxx / Bob Marvin’s Bidet

2007-11-01T19:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Thurs 011107: Nottingham sent one of their finest knights (T K Maxx) in silicon armour on a secret mission tonight. Under the guise of a date, I went along to find out as much as could about him. Disguised in normal casual civilian clothing I hooked up with him at Trafalgar Square, before proceeding to Café Espana for dinner and some under the table knee bashing.

Our getting to know each other session was briefly suspended when we joined the boys for Bob Marvin’s bidet drinks. Not expecting the Lady (Clitty) and the Tramp (Dettol), we were forced into playing a game of musical chairs. For once, our nostril damage was not self inflicted.

Trade Neon

2007-10-28T06:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Sun 281007: Taking the clocks back an hour tonight, Marshallmellow and myself went back to 2006 by sleeping in until the early hours of the morning. Forcing our bodies out of bed at 4am we joined the neon freaks at Trade for some super hardcore afterhours madness.

An hour seemed to disappear from this morning’s schedule when our watches froze and stopped ticking. This confusion led to Londan valiantly attempting to look for the missing hour. He searched high (amongst the brick walls) and he searched low (around people’s shoes) but still failed to find our vanished 60 minutes. Possibly one of the best Sungays we have had in ages.

Bouncy Boy joins Le Club

2007-10-22T20:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Mon 221007: Bobbling along in the cold weather we (Fragiler, Tash and moi) successfully tracked down the Island Queen to congratulate Bouncy Boy. Failing to get pregnant with twins, mother nature gave him a free booby prize by upgrading him into the 30s club.

More X:Periment

2007-10-21T01:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Sun 211007: Arriving late we missed the warm up DJ’s set and PA act which I was looking forward to. Once again RJ and Johnny pulled out their finger and paintbrushes to give the venue a fresh artistic look. With a change in their DJ rota, the sounds was much more funkier and refreshing tonight.

Reinhard’s Party

2007-10-20T22:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 201007: With England losing points in the rugby finals, me and Clitty were starting to losing time from our Saturday evening. Late as usual, we made it to Swiss Cottage for Reinhard’s house party.

Failing at being able to drink out his entire champagne cellar we migrated south heading down to Brixton Hill. Part of our journey ended up with some of the rowdy German tweenies from the party. Combined with Sister Clitty we certainly had the loudest carriage.

Jan’s Bidet Bash

2007-10-20T20:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 201007: Jan has picked up this odd hobby of collecting gays. She has taken to specialising in the antique variety and has accumulated a mammoth collection. Our weekend kicked off with Jan’s yummy homemade birthday cake and her trademark Aspi Spumante cocktail.

Rhinoceros

2007-10-18T18:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Thurs 181007: David Wantsome is the master of networking and managed to bag himself some tickets for Rhinoceros tonight. Before the start of the show we enjoyed some wine and canapés upstairs. During our brief moment of downloading updates and gossip with each other, we kept getting interrupted by the Royal Court theatre marketing ladies who were discreetly eyeing up potential sponsors. My pre-show was watching David very skillfully ingratiating and introducing himself to the movers and shakers. Now that’s what I call PR.

Rhinoceros has got some clever writing in it. It’s like a warped version of the Incredible Hulk thrown in with some philosophical and fundamentalist ideas written way back in 1959. Featuring Benedict Cumberbatch (whose popularity seems to be growing and growing) playing Monsieur Berenger, it starts off with a hilarious but surreal moment outside a Parisian café when a rhinoceros starts charging through the town square. From this, more characters are thrown in with an interesting technique of layering two conversations simultaneously. Several more glasses of wine and canapés later, the play went into a different direction with a move towards more traditional theatre. It moves from light hearted joviality into a seriously downbeat mood with lengthy monologues as it gears up for a powerful dramatic finale.

Lunchtime chit chat

2007-10-17T12:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Wed 171007: Paul C. took me out to lunch this afternoon where we had a lengthy chat about the complexities of modern day co-habiting and the way relationships evolve. Within the last few months a few couples within my social network have chosen to go back to the single life again. The impact of this has been playing on my mind quite a bit. Subconsciously I get comfort from knowing couples that have been together for a fair few number of years. In a way it is inspiring to know that long standing homo relationships do work. It makes me feel that one day I could perhaps engage in something of a similar nature. Now that these splits have occurred, I am left with a deep sadness and question marks inside of me.

Boeing Boeing

2007-10-11T17:00:00.001Z

Juicelog Thurs 111007: What was meant to be a brief 5pm post-occupational drink with Boobita and Fragiler went on for a bit longer than intended. I think it might have been something to do with the lemonade. Or the lime juice. Or even the vodka.

Whatever it was, we arrived a tiny bit late for Boeing Boeing being performed at the Comedy theatre tonight. A 1960�s comedy that is set in Paris based on the love life of the central character Bernard (who is a playboy architect). He achieves this by dating three trolly dollys who work for three different airlines (TWA, Alitalia and Lufthansa). Aided by his housemaid (Bertha) and old Welsh school chum (Robert) you end up with a face paced farce that is amusing even though it perpetuates American, German and Italian sexist stereotypes comically executed by the three air stewardesses (Gloria, Gretchan and Gabriella).

As their timetables begin to collide, you get to see a lot of frantic door slamming in the semi-circled white paneled retro room with accompanying numerous doors. For me the subtle dreariness of Bertha and Robert contrasted well against the three colourful air stewardesses. But if there is one thing that is guaranteed to have you cackling out loud it would be Gretchan�s crass representation of her Germanic character.

Junky JVC

2007-10-10T10:30:00.000Z

Juicelog Wed 101007: It’s the middle of the week and I’ve elevated myself to being Daddy Dick’s boss by hiring him to help me out with a work video project I’m currently working on.

Thought it was going to be a relatively straight forward task but we had a big major problem when I discovered that the film footage I had was in the wrong format. The video footage I filmed on the poppycock JVC camcorder had to be converted from a MOD to mpeg before we could begin editing. This won’t make sense to many of you, but basically it was like trying to turn a twinky into a leather daddy (as well as being fully proficient in the dungeon room) in the space of one working day.

Federation @ The Warehouse Project

2007-10-06T23:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Sat 061007: One of my favourite nocturnal entertainment up north is the night that they call Federation. Tonight's theme was grafitti and it all took place at the Warehouse Project which is basically an underground carpark. Police officers and a sniffer dog presence at the entrance was somewhat alarming. The layout of the venue was musically restrictive as the music could only been heard properly in certain parts of the carpark (i.e. the front and middle section). The sound was the usual federation sound. My blue hard hat seemed to amuse a few of the ravers.

Taking things up a notch we went for some ear bleeding banging-ness at Morning Glory. Like a second rate version of Trade, definitely not a disco experience for the light hearted. Luckily I had a Gareth Gates lookalike to keep me company for part of the morning.

Bidet Celebrations – Part Deux

2007-10-05T23:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Fri 051007: The official end of my bidet took place this weekend in Manchester with some partying clowning around whilst Crazycakes, Mandy, Katie and myself went up to visit chef Londan. Walking through the door we were greeted by his latest culinary effort:

Consuming his home made chicken pie and a swig of cider we sauntered into canal street for a couple of pre-weekend drinks.

The village was surprisingly a bit on the quiet side tonight, but I still managed to bag myself an invitation to preview Mike's snake collection. Disappointingly tthe snakes didn't provide much excitement and so I linked up with the boys back at headquarters. Mandy refused to let us sleep and as we were feeling energised we popped into the basement to chill out before retiring to our beds.

Losing Kevin

2007-10-03T20:00:00.000Z

Juicelog Wed 031007: A brief glimpse at the weather forecast on the radio and telly tells us that this month we’re in for a bit of shock. Given that the UK people were scammed of a proper summer this year, there will be some unexpected surprises.

Tonight in central London outside the Duke of Wellington pub there was an unbelievable powerful and tenacious cyclone pulling Kevin away from us youngsters (Peter, Robert, Chris, Fragiler and myself). Being the robust anchor of youthfulness, I grabbed onto Kevin and held onto him for as long as I juicily could. Slowly we all got worn out and afflicted as we were tossed around from gay bar to gay bar. Feeling the pains of his caducity, I eventually lost my grip and Kevin got gobbled up into the black hole they call thirty-seven.