My List

Juicelog Wed 200906: Looks can be deceiving. Today is technically when I will be entering into my 31^st year of human life. For me, this is quite an important time of my life as it marks my ascent into deep face lines. Blasting off into my 31^st year and into a new census age bracket, I will indubitably be accompanied with baggage of various shapes and sizes.

This is precisely why there will be a petite mob of curious citizens eager to delve into Juicy’s box of what’s not and what rocks. Herein begins my list:

1. I don't like guys spending the night in my bed.
2. I don't like spending the night in other guys bed (especially if they have a spring mattress).
3. My social circles is like a Palm Pilot (it needs updating every 6 months).
4. KFC chicken still tastes good after all these years.
5. It takes me much longer to perform simple tasks (par example, like composing a catchy haiku) which I accomplished with minimal effort in my twinkties.
6. Men cannot be trusted (especially when their middle name is Jesus).
7. White socks should never be worn with black shoes.
8. The bigger your pay cheque the bigger your wishlist.
9. When I’m drunk I am able to speak fluent German and Italian.
10. It’s always easier to meet someone that you don’t have anything in common with than to find like minded souls.
11. You're deemed to be super-old when your age is greater than your waist size (waist size is measured in inches of course coz gayboys measure everything in inches).
12. Shorts were made for hot beaches and gay discos.
13. As a single, I always get invited to dinner parties where the host has a odd numbered dinner table.
14. Removal of nasal hairs are a frickin’ pain in the ass.
15. I actually enjoy watching daytime game shows.